In most ceremonies I’ve worked on around the world, I find the traditional vows have started to change to become more personalized for each couple. I think this may be happening mostly because of the word “obey.”We, as a society and culture, have indeed come a very long way in our thinking about relationships, yet I still feel we as individuals have a lot to learn about the interpersonal dynamic of relationships, especially on the issue of control. I find most business folks are highly controlling and have a very hard time leaving this aspect out of their marriages or relationships.
I truly believe that most controlling folks (me included) cannot help themselves. They are not in control of their controlling. Control mostly happens when we force our views on someone else, which could work beautifully in business but not always at home.
So, the next time you find yourself trying to mold your spouse or significant other to your own will, stop and ask your self: Is this best for them or for me?
Not all control is bad…what are the positive and negative aspects of being controlling? And, if you really want to share, please tell me: Are you controlling?
(Photo via)
George Bernard Shaw once said: “You see things and say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were and say, ‘Why not?’” That quote embodies how Preston Bailey approaches every event.
Lindsey Huddleston
April 19, 2010
I am! Luckily my husband and I are both very stubborn as well, so we give each other pushback or space, depending on the situation!
MELISSA
April 20, 2010
I WOULD NOT SAY MY THING IS BEING CONTROLLING IT’S MORE THAT I HAVE REFUSED, BASED ON WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN MY CHILDHOOD, TOO FEEL WHAT ANOTHER AND MAINLY MY BOYFRIEND WANTS IN ANY SITUATION.. I JUST KNOW WHAT I WANT AND THAT’S THE WAY I COME TO HIM… SO, I WOULD SAY, I AM MORE INTO WHAT I WANT THEN WHAT ANOTHER WANTS… THAT COULD BE A FORM OF CONTROL??? I CAN SAY THAT IT IS IN THE MIST OF CHANGING NOW AS IF I WANT TO HAVE A CLOSE AND LOVING ENERGY BETWEEN HIM AND I, I NEED TOO BREAK THRU THIS PROTECTIVE DEVICE I USE…
XXOO
MELISSA
yachicko
April 22, 2010
agree with what you said. maybe for me, it’s more to i had been hurt before, so i just protecting myself to not being hurt again. had a lot of bad experiences with men, which makes me finally concluded that the best way to deal in a relationship is like a ‘business relationship’ instead of a real warm, kind-hearted, unselfish kind of relationship. i was in a position of always tried to do whatever is best for my significant half, even when sometimes it hurts me, i would still do my best. but in the end, no body, ever actually appreciate what i did, or at least, cherish me, which makes me feel more comfortable to be in control now…:)