Last Friday, I had the honor of speaking to one of the most elegant, attractive groups of the Pittsburgh A list. To say the least, I was in ego heaven. Not only did these wonderful ladies come out in droves to donate for a great cause (the Ladies Hospital Aid Society), but they were also more than gracious.
I always need to quiet myself from the panic I feel before going in front of a large audience to speak. At one time, public speaking was one of my biggest fears. I felt that my accent was too pronounced or that I would make a fool of myself. I remember feeling my blood pulsing, palms sweating, and shortness of breath among other fears. (These fears have lessened but are still there.)
Yet, like with everything, preparation and practice is the only way to improve one’s speaking skills. For all of you with similar public speaking fears, this is what I have learned:
- Try to meet your audience before the talk. I had the pleasure of spending some time with these ladies before my talk and I found them interesting, fun, and, most importantly, stunning (I’m always a pushover for great fashion).
- BE YOURSELF. Another aspect I noticed was that even though they were all dressed up and looking great they all appeared to be very real, so it was easy for me to be myself and connect with them.
- Most importantly, always concentrate on your audience and how you are affecting them, not yourself. Just as in your personal relationships, it’s always key to be conscious of how you are affecting others. I felt these ladies were a very engaged audience (even for the shocking parts).
I loved my time in Pittsburgh. In fact, I left hoping that I’d have the opportunity to spend more time with some of these remarkable ladies. Of course, even though I give many speeches and I love connecting with my audience, I sometimes still experience a level of discomfort in public speaking. Along with many things in my life, it’s still a work in progress.
Please tell me: Do you enjoy public speaking? What are your tips?
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George Bernard Shaw once said: “You see things and say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were and say, ‘Why not?’” That quote embodies how Preston Bailey approaches every event.
Gayle O'Donnell
April 26, 2010
You are so right about practice being the greatest help to overcoming the fear and dread. I find it helpful to find someone in the front section of the crowd (when you can see the audience) who is very into what you are saying that will smile back at you and then you can look at them and share a smile from time to time. When you know you’ve made at least one good connection in the crowd it makes it easier. I totally agree with the suggestion to meet the audience before the talk. Practice makes perfect. Even with my radio show, “Nearlywed Radio” that’s true. I was a “deer in the headlights” for our first show, but now it’s become much easier when you just treat it like a chat with a friend – there just happen to be a few more “friends” when you’re speaking to a group.
Martine Chery
April 26, 2010
I HATE public speaking but since I was most of the time in the limelight for being in the diplomatic field, I had to look for ways to overcome this fear. I learned the following tricks that work perfectly for me:
1.Practice your points
2.Take very depth breath before the event
2. Talk slowly
3.Focus on your points
People always tell me that I look confident, if only they knew how shy I was. Luckily, it’s definitly something you have the power to improve! Thanks for sharing your points.
Erwin Gonzalez
April 26, 2010
1. Arrive early. See the space, learn the event format,if you need a/v equipment make requests in advance,and establish a relationship with the key players sponsoring the event.You want to create as comfortable environment as you can.
2. Rehearse your speech repeatedly and be clear about the message you want to convey. The more confident you are with your material the more confident you will appear.It is easier to adapt to any mishaps if you have a clearly articulated intention.
3.Create a focal point. Have a person or section in the room that you connect with. Perform to them and allow other people to share in that exchange. It is too easy to focus on people who we perceive are disengaged. This is a trap. Stay away from that feeling and work the positive energy
MELISSA
April 26, 2010
I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR THE SHOCKING PARTS……
WOW, WHEN I HAVE HAD TO SPEAK MY HEART STARTS TO POUND AND I FEEL LIKE I AM GOING TO DIE…
IT’S LIKE A REAL PANIC ATTACK AND THEN WHEN IT’S OVER EVERY ONE SAYS THEY LOVED IT……
IT IS ALWAYS LIKE THIS…
IT THINK IT’S BECAUSE I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT MYSELF AND I AM AFRAID THAT EVERY ONE WILL KNOW THAT I FEEL UNDESERVING AND THAT IS REALLY WHY AND IT NEVER HAPPENS LIKE THAT..
I THINK I SELF-BASH MYSELF AND I AM WAITING FOR OTHERS TO DO THAT BECAUSE I GOT A LOT OF THAT FROM MY MOTHER GROWING UP…
EVEN WITH ALL THIS I KEEP GOING AND DOING IT…..
XXOO
MELISSA
Catherine Loevner
April 30, 2010
Dear Preston,
You are the most wonderful guest speaker, the ladies of the Ladies Hospital Aid luncheon were so impressed by your kindness and gracious personality. We so enjoyed meeting you, having your fabulous book CELEBRATIONS dedicated, and hearing your marvelous presentation. No one wished to leave!
You define ELEGANCE!
I hope you have a wonderful birthday, May3rd!
Kindest regards and love to you and your wonderful assistant Rae. I hope hope to see you in NYC in June.
Catherine
rhoda shear neft
May 2, 2010
It is not often that I take a day from work to attend a charitable event but I am so glad I did. How else would I have met such a gracious celebertywith talent galore who willingly shared his thoughts and ideas on entertaining? Thnk you for coming to PIttsburgh and your invitation to visit you in NY. You are most approachable and kind.
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May 23, 2010
I’ve recently started a blog, the information you provide on this site has helped me tremendously. Thank you for all of your time & work.
Barbara Jean Adelson
June 1, 2010
My dear “new friend”- what a total delight you were for us, the Ladies Hospital Aid Society! I and my constituents were overwhelmed by your gracious creativity and your ability to overcome the old “fear of public speaking”. Your presentation was insightful, informative, entertaining and charming. Non of us was any the wiser that this “fear” used to plague you!! We have always admired the very brave in our community and you, my sweet man., are the epidemy of such! LHAS is all about celebrating the gifts that God has bestowed upon us and I thank you so very much for sharing your greatest gifts with us for our Spring Luncheon. LHAS and I are most honored that you spent some lovely time with us and increased the donations to our very worthy( 112 year old tradition) cause of giving back to the community. I am impressed and will be forever at your service. Thank you for your kind inscription in my book of your recent publication. I will always treasure your words !
Ms. Barbara J. Adelson, R.N.
Immdeiate Past President of LHAS
p.s. I hope that if you have occasion to visit Phoenix with your beloved partner you will feel fre to call upon me. Reach me by contacting the LHAS office or emailing; Barbara_adelson@hotmail.com
Barbara Ramoutar
August 21, 2010
Preston this is amazing as yourself,,,inspires me ,,and motivates me,in this slow period ,,,Exciting gives me faith and hope ,,, thank you… God Bless you.
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October 13, 2010
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July 22, 2011
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAY?
Dianne@SilverSpoonEvents.net
October 13, 2011
NO, I like you do NOT like public Speaking! It was great reading that even someone like you has to practice before hand. Thank you so much for sharing.