My partner Theo Bleckmann and I at his Grammy nomination ceremony in Hollywood.
That’s a very great question and the answer may be surprising. Up to today’s date, no I never have. Same sex marriage is one of the most controversial issues not only in America, but, I believe, all over the world. For me, I just don’t get it. Why is it that after doing thousands of wedding ceremonies around the world, I do not have the right to do my own?
Forget about my sexual preference and forget about my religious beliefs (by the way, I consider myself to be very spiritual), why is it that as I am in the process of planning my wedding with my partner, this means absolutely nothing legally? (Other than throwing one big, fun party with lots of new traditions?) I find myself hesitating about making my wedding public because of the reactions of others when ultimately my only goal is to make public a commitment that after 61 years of looking I found someone I’d like to spend the rest of my life with. The same as any one else.
How do you feel about same sex marriages?
George Bernard Shaw once said: “You see things and say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were and say, ‘Why not?’” That quote embodies how Preston Bailey approaches every event.
John Murph
April 27, 2010
Well, I’ll be there cheering you both on!
Therese Dozier
April 27, 2010
Preston, I feel the same way! I feel like it is a celebration of LOVE and isn’t that what is most important. With all of the celebrations of hate in this world you would think that people would happily embrace two people coming together in love. In my market, I don’t get approached to do many gay weddings but am more than happy to do so, actually I would LOVE to do one. I hope to one day soon do my friends wedding in NYC and share in their love and happiness in finding the perfect PERSON for them.. Kudos and Congrats
Therese Dozier
Wilhelm Perez
April 27, 2010
¡Felicidades a ambos! Congratulations! I would be delighted to see what will you design for your wedding. Oh Dios, debe ser algo lleno de amor. Saludos Will.
Elyn Rahman
April 27, 2010
Because same-sex marriages are not legal in all states and in particular in the state of South Carolina, we offer ‘Commitment Ceremonies’ instead, which are very popular. So far we’ve done three (all very small and intimate) but lovely to say the least. One stands out above the rest…matching boxer shorts invitations and the matching set on the clothes line was also displayed in fondant as the cake topper.
In my opinion, as event designers/planners, one should focus on the professional services you’re offering and leave your religious (whatever), political and personal views out of the equation. A celebration in any form deserves professional service and professionals should treat every client with equal respect and consideration.
Preston, come to Charleston SC and we’ll have you doing tons of them here!
All the best for your own celebration! Can’t wait to see the photos.
a little bit of whimsy photography
April 27, 2010
I think that DC and other states that passed the law are ahead of the game and I applaud that this was finally done. I feel it is more about the rights (protections) under the law that are much needed and wanted. Next of kin, visitation rights, ownership rights and others are the little things that don’t seem like much on the surface but are like a mountain if you don’t have these rights under the law. I am shooting my first same-sex marriage in May and am thrilled to be a part of the ladies lives who have chosen to spend the rest of their lives together.. In my opinion.. It’s all about the love.. just LOVE!!!!
Congrats to you and your partner Preston!!
Jessy
April 27, 2010
First, a big congratulations! And I have done a gay wedding, my own, and it was wonderful. There will always be someone who doesn’t like it, but they are not my issue unless I choose to make them my problem. You deserve this happiness, and a giant celebration! and personally, I can’t wait to see what you design for yourself. To see Preston’s vision, without a client to please. The government will come around soon. In the mean time, Best of luck, and a hearty mazel tov to you both in advance!
Elner
April 27, 2010
I have done a commitment ceremony. I learned a lot about gay couples from the event, as I have known very few. I loved working with them and enjoyed the way the interacted together. The ceremony and reception was one of the most romantic ones I ever worked on. I was shocked when the event planner told them to let her know if they need assistance in finding a resort that gay couples were welcomed. Being bi-racial it reminded of the civil rights struggles and I felt saddened that we have so far to go as a society. I was shocked when an event planner said she would not work with them because it was against her beliefs. I appreciate the trust they had in me to make their day special and I thank them for teaching me so much. I would love to do more work in the gay community.
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding, I wish you and your partner much love and happiness.
Lindsay
April 27, 2010
I’m Canadian and here we value all people – no matter what their sexual orientation. Here you have the right to marry your partner – both in the eyes of the law, and to receive federal benefits like health care, death benefits and – often most importantly – immigration. Countless numbers of same-sex couples in other countries have seen their spouses deported as they are not legally married in the eyes of the federal government.
If you do not believe in same sex marriage, consider the fact that just 45 years ago, inter-racial marriage was illegal in the United States. There is no difference between mixed race marriages and same-sex marriages. Love is love – and frankly, the more of it we have in the world, and the more marriage there is, the stronger we all are for it!
Bernadette Coveney Smith
April 27, 2010
Preston, congratulations on your engagement! Gay weddings are absolutely wonderful. I’ve been planning legal gay weddings for over six years now and was the country’s first gay wedding planner. It’s hard to believe that gay marriage has been legal in Massachusetts for six years. Since that time a bunch of great traditions have evolved – we have a sacred marriage document, unique processionals, and some other traditions you might not expect. I hope that you and Theo get a legal marriage license in Massachusetts or Connecticut because the State of New York will recognize your gay marriage if it’s performed in those states – even if the party is in NY. It’s not full equality but it’s progress. For future reference, you might reconsider use of the phrase “sexual preference” – some non-supportive people take this to mean that you prefer men and that it’s a choice – when we both know that it’s not.
Best wishes to you and Theo.
Bernadette
Marie-José Schlenker
April 27, 2010
Hi Preston and Theo,
First of all… congratulations!!!! And please don’t waste any time on considering how anyone else will react. When you both are ready to commit then nothing should stand in your way. I’m a wedding and party planner from The Netherlands and I have done gay weddings… in fact, I myself are married with a lovely lady, Ingrid, after living together for over 20 years… Over here, marriage for a gay couple is exactly the same as for a straight couple… it’s just as legal and binding, no restrictions or differences whatsoever…. And even when this is common practice since 2001, there are still people that may frown when they hear about it.. So What!! Let them. It’s you and him and when the people who are closest to you have accepted your relationship… you will have a wedding that is just as precious as any straight couple can have…. And when in doubt…. just fly over to the Netherlands and I will gladly assist you two on your biggest day!!
Take care!
Marie-José Schlenker
Eindeloos Events
Janny
April 27, 2010
Congratulations to the both of you, Preston and Theo. I completely agree with Lindsay’s comment. I am also Canadian, and one-half of a mixed marriage. My husband is Caucasian and I am Canadian of Chinese decent. Love sees no colour, race, or religion. True love is beautiful and to be cherished. Good on you, Preston and Theo, for celebrating your love. Just know that all of your fans support you, your wedding, and your marriage. And of course wish we were there when you have your fabulous party!
All the best,
Janny
Martine Chery
April 27, 2010
Congratulations to both of you! I didn’t do a gay wedding yet but am so looking forward to do one, maybe I could yours Mr. Preston. I will be so honor
Cheers to you and your partner~
Thea Daniel
April 28, 2010
Love (and a good, healthy relationship) is hard enough to find, keep, and experience without adding social limitations.
I have worked with one same-sex couple and it took quite a while for them to open up and let me know that the ceremony was for the two of them. The area in which I live can be quite judgmental. I think I got the job when they DIDN’T receive any of that from me. I believe a client is a client. It’s my job to bring their vision to life, not make comments or judgments about who they are. (They were a wonderful couple and the ceremony was quite personal to the two of them, by the way.) I would love to work on more same-sex ceremonies and hope to have the chance soon.
–Thea
Deborah Dixon
April 28, 2010
Hi Preston, Congratulations! I am happy for you and Theo. I believe you should be with the person who makes you happy and brings you joy. You have every right to celebrate and pronouce your love. I think when you’re lucky enough to find that special someone you should go for it. I would be thrilled to do a same sex wedding; because that means two more individuals have found love. All the best to you and Theo.
MELISSA
April 28, 2010
THIS WORLD IS CRAZY NOT JUST WITH THE ISSUE YOU BRING UP, BUT BASICALLY MOST THINGS…..
ALL OF US HAVE BEEN TAUGHT BY OUR FAMILIES EITHER THRU OUT RIGHT FORCE SUCH AS ABUSE (WHICH COMES IN MANY FORMS) OR THRU WITH HOLDING OF AFFECTION AND LOVE THAT WE CAN NOT BE WHOM WE ARE AND THEN SOCIETY SUPPORTS THIS….
I SAY MAZELTOV TO YOU BOTH……
YOU BOTH ARE SO HANDSOME…..
XXOO
MELISSA
Sherri Daubert
April 28, 2010
It does seem unbelievable to me that you of all people would not be able to fully relish everything about that magical day. It is very unjust and your unique perspective really amplifies that.
Eric Ellen
April 29, 2010
Preston, My feelings are the same whereas when I meet the right person will anything change legally after a FABULOUS commitment ceremony/reception?!
CONGRATS to you and Theo! I can’t wait to get an invite….your only male mentee ERIC
Stacey
April 29, 2010
Love is….LOVE!!! Enjoy the love you have been so blessed to find and cherish it!!! I can’t wait to see your pictures…I know both of you will be HOT!! Much love!
Evonne & Darren Photography
April 30, 2010
Congrats to you and Theo! I would love to photograph a same-sex couple one of these days. Like Stacey said above, love is love and there is nothing better than to see 2 people totally in love with each other and want to make the commitment to spend the rest of their lives together! I can’t wait to see pictures of your wedding ceremony and reception!
Hilary Miles
April 30, 2010
As I am based in Vancouver, Canada, I have been fortunate enough to do the flowers for several gay weddings over the past few years. Some of them are in my “favourite weddings” file….All of them were an honour, helping 2 people in love celebrate their lives together with family & friends. This July I am working with a fabulous gay couple, Jackie & Paula at The Vancouver Art Gallery creating a traditional Italian feast with a 70 foot long table,festooned with flowers. I Can’t wait! Hey neighbours to the South, come on up to Vancouver….we get a lot of gay Americans traveling up here for destination weddings!
Debbie Welch
May 5, 2010
Congratulations to both of you and yes I have done a few gay weddings. Any wedding is a celebration of love and commitment and I consider an honor to be a part of it. It is just like working with any other couple!
If you need help Preston with the wedding – would love to volunteer and I bet Hilary Miles from Vancouver would too.
Whenever one of my florist family has a wedding- we all pitch in – so they can enjoy the day- now it is your turn!
norah
May 10, 2010
I totally disagree with gay marriages. Love = Man + Woman. The best is yet to come and you’re in for a big surprise…. just watch and see!
Mark Kingsdorf - The Queen of Hearts Wedding Consultants
May 10, 2010
Congratulations Preston and Theo – we’re all entitled to celebrate happiness and milestone events with a grand celebration…
To Norah who posted above: If you’re agains Gay Marriage DON’T Marry one!
Gay Marriage is a basic civil right, we pay taxes and should be entititled to the same right as any other consenting sdult couple in America.
If your church/religion doesn’t believe in gay marriage then don’t marry same sex couples.
The BEST is yet to come, and gay marriage will be legalized in my lifetime
Gregory Britt
May 11, 2010
Norah, you’re an idiot! Love happens for same sex couples every minute of every day. Better get used to it!!
norah
May 13, 2010
Where is all this hatred coming from?! The man (Mr. Preston) simply asked “How do you feel about same sex marriages?” and I think it’s okay for me to express my opinion. I didn’t say I hate gay people or anything like that. I was just pointing out I disagree with gay marriages. Anyhow… I’m much wiser and smarter than that (no name calls on my part!) and I still believe God made a Man for a Woman regardless of what anyone might think or say. Love = Man + Woman. That’s my point of view and I’m sticking it to like glue. Call me what you like and how you like it… it doesn’t bother me at all. Like I said before…. Preston, the best is yet to come and nobody knows it but me
.
La Doña Carmen
May 20, 2010
Felicidades Don Preston y Don Theo! I haven’t had the privilege of doing a gay wedding, but I have good gay friends who are very creative in both music and decorating and when they put a party together–boy do we all have fun! It will be interesting to see what you have up your sleeve for your “BIG” day. I’ll be anxiously awaiting for my invite in the mail. Un abrazo fuerte.
Myriam
May 27, 2010
No one should be bashing anyone for their comments, whether for or against. This is Preston’s blog, and if he chose to welcome both then who are we to bite someone’s head off if they disagree with our personal opinions? This blog is a great resource so let’s keep it clean and respectful.
Anne
June 12, 2010
Congratulations to you both.
Don’t you think the world would be so boring if we were all the same?
Teresita Doucet
July 13, 2010
Come on up to lovely Nova Scotia Canada ..and you can have a fantastic sea side wedding and be LEGALLY Married too..We have done lots of same sex weddings..! In the end ,there are two people getting married with two families and a lot of people who love and support them….