Common Mistakes: Jealousy

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How is it that we pray and hope for all the great jobs and opportunities to come to us, however we (being human) resent it when the great jobs and opportunities come to our peers? Yes folks, I am also guilty of the weakness of jealousy. I find myself indulging in jealousy mostly when I am fearful, fearful that I am not able to get what I want. It’s easy to become frustrated when someone else seems to be getting what is rightfully ours, even if we are too frightened to go for it.

I have always thought of jealousy as one of my biggest weaknesses. Just recently have I learned to see it for the “tough love” friend it can be. Whenever my friend Jealousy shows its face, the first question that comes to my mind is, “What am I afraid of at this moment?” and I am reminded of a quote I read by David Richo:
Fear follows us all our lives, that is a human condition
Fear sometimes catches up with us, that is an occasional predicament
Fear never has to stop us, that is the purpose of our work.

So, the next time we feel jealousy taking over our attention there is only one cure for it: good old fashioned love. Give yourself a break and deal with one of your fears. And, always remember there is more than enough for us all.

When you are jealous, how do you let go of it?

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  • http://www.weddingsbylouise.ca Louise McAllister

    I sometimes find myself feeling these same things as I’m a very competitive person by nature. It was only paralyzing my ability to celebrate their efforts and undermining my confidence in my own achievements. I now have a copy of the poem “Desiderata” on my desk and refer to it whenever I feel envy and jealousy rearing their ugly heads…

    “If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.”

    “Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.”

  • http://www.honeybeeandmeblog.com MELISSA

    THANK YOU PRESTON FOR BRINGING YOUR HEART FELT FEELINGS AND YOUR VULERABILITES TO US…
    YOU AND MR. WOLF HAVE THE BEST BLOGS IN THE DECORATING AND DESIGN SPECTRUM….

    I THINK FEAR IS HERE TO DRIVE US DEEPER INTO OURSELVES AND IF WE ARE READY TO REALLY FIND THE SOURCE OF IT… JUST TAKE A PHOTO OF YOU WHEN YOU WERE VERY YOUNG AND TAPE IT TO YOUR DESK AND ALSO ONE BY YOUR BED AND ASK THE SMALL YOU TO SHOW YOU AT THAT MOMENT OF BEING JEALOUSY TO SHOW YOU WHERE THAT COMES FROM AND YOU WILL BE AMAZED AT WHAT YOU UNCOVER AND THEN IT JUST STARTS TO NOT BE AN ISSUE AFTER YOU HAVE SPENT ABOUT A YEARS TIME DOING THIS…

    XXOO
    MELISSA

  • http://www.tanyamalott.com Tanya Malott

    Since you use jealousy in the work context, I will share my experience in that arena. I have discovered with age that I get all of the jobs I am meant to get. Many (most?) of my clients become my close friends, and I am grateful that these people have come in to my life. Sometimes when the job goes to a friend or competitor, I am tempted to feel jealous. In the past, I always felt jealous/bad/inferior in those moments. Today, I take a longer term, more relationship driven view. I think of my work a little more like matchmaking….and I certainly don’t want to date every person I meet, nor should they want to date me. Short term rejection is sometimes hard to take, but the value of my long term relationships makes every rejection worth the pain.

    Thank you for the topic, Preston.

  • http://www.blog.splendidaffairs.co.za Eve

    Hi Preston, great post. It is so easy to get caught up in this kind of thing. Of course someone’s success can leave us feel uncertain about our own abilities. However, when this happens it is important to remember (as you said) there is enough for all of us, but also the right client will come along. And part of having a successful event is to work with the ‘right’ client.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=758512728 Ashley Greer

    I try to remember that jealousy is a form of suffering, and suffering is caused by attachment. Then I try to let go and remember that I was fine before and i’ll be better then fine after:)

  • http://www.eventsbydoyin.com Doyin

    Wow! Thanks for sharing this.

  • http://www.silverleafevent.com Navjot

    I feel that being jealous is a part of ignorant soul, which will not only cause more failures for a person like me who is trying hard to find a space for growth professionally.Many a time other person whose designs may not be good may have a better marketing plan or just the right time in that person’s favor.
    No doubt, It is very hard to keep your spirits up when other people around you are able to pass you but letting the jealousy overpower my soul will not do me any good. This is something I learnt from people like Preston and my Guru.

  • http://www.ivorypearlbridal.wordpress.com Margaret Ivory – Ivory Pearl Bridal

    I love this posting. I will try hard to do more of the cure.

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  • http://YOURWEBSITE Cara

    wow! Mr.Bailey I started out admiring your work. After reading your blog I began to admire your character. Thank you again for being so honest. You are probably a free person because of this trait.
    This quote reminds me of you… “If being open and honest about my vulnerabilities can help other people, then so be it”
    again thank you for going beyond your creations to give much more to people…. true inspiration.

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