(Image via Anna Jarske on Flickr)
I’m pretty confident that if I took a poll, most of you would consider yourselves perfectionists. Recently, to my great surprise, a good friend accused me of been an extreme perfectionist. Being in the wedding and event industry means that we’re always aiming for that perfect evening — not only for our clients and brides but also for ourselves. We forget, however, that sometimes just being good really is good enough. The problem with being a perfectionist is that we spend a great deal of time and effort obsessing over details that ultimately make absolutely no difference in the grand scheme of things.
At the risk at ruffling a few “perfectionist” feathers, here’s my list of examples:
1. I’ve spent hours choosing the perfect shade of white flowers, wedding stationery and table linens for weddings and events. However, I’ve found that once the sun goes down, it makes very little difference. Dim lighting plays tricks on our eyes, and it all looks, more or less, the same.
2. Who decided that the wedding decor and the bridesmaids’ dresses should be the same color? When I have a dinner party, I don’t ask my guests to wear outfits that match the table centerpieces. At a wedding, the guests aren’t dressing with the decor in mind, so why should the bridesmaids?
3. As for the wedding and event stationery, yes, there’s beauty in consistency. But it’s also not the end of the world if every single ink color, calligraphy, and font are not exactly the same. In my opinion, most guests hardly notice these details. And, if they do, they might think it’s a good thing: I recently went to an event where the place cards, programs, menus and table numbers each had their own unique style. I definitely noticed, and I thought it was very cool. It was a great example of “thinking outside the box!”
4. I don’t know why, but most wedding and event venues have the most horrible carpet patterns. Have you noticed this? More than once, my clients have said to me, “I love this ballroom, but I hate the carpet.” Please remind your clients that when all of the beautiful tables are set up, guests will see very little of that ugly carpet.
I could go on, but you get the idea. The events we do are always about keeping our clients happy. At times, though, it helps if we have some perspective, especially when maybe our clients don’t. Good really can be good enough. You don’t have to drive yourself nuts over every little detail to create a fantastic event for your clients.
Be sure to check back tomorrow for a new post with my 10 list of the things that MUST be perfect at every event.
Now, a few questions for you: Are you a perfectionist? How do you handle a client who’s obsessed with perfection? Which elements of an event do you think DON’T have to be perfect? What’s your idea of perfection? Please share your thoughts!
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George Bernard Shaw once said: “You see things and say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were and say, ‘Why not?’” That quote embodies how Preston Bailey approaches every event.
lindsey
May 2, 2011
our version of perfection is a) everyone having a good time and b) guests not being aware of any hiccups occur during the day. at least as much as we can control!
JACLYN
May 2, 2011
Preston, thank you so much for posting this ! Horrible carpet patterns ? Patterns of bird of paradise than the bride choose flowers in hues of fuschia/purple and jewl tones makes me want to up chuck in my mouth . I see where you are coming from though for going with the flow and assuring the bride that no one will take notice to the horrible carpet pattern once the arrangements are in their place.
The color of printing on place cards and menu I’ve always felt that it should be in the same color and a nice script font. While all this is lovely, I’m leaning toward a difference in color – something that pops because afterall I suppose nothing has to match EXACTLY !
Again, thank you for your time and I hope to see you soon .
Jaclyn Gough
Floral Designer from Baltimore, MD
Jean Neuhart
May 2, 2011
Hi Preston. Thanks for this post. I don’t know how many times I’ve told brides a similar version of #2 & #4.
Bridesmaids dresses are not decor, and table linens are not attire. They don’t have to match.
There is no “perfection” in real life. All we can strive for is the best that is humanly possible.
Julia Hewitt
May 2, 2011
I especially like that you mention matching dresses and linens. When did this become the norm? Also, perfect point about the carpet-
Patricia Simitakos The Eco Conscious Planner
May 2, 2011
My motto is that there is perfection in imperfection. I remind my clients that if a guest chooses to complain about an ugly carpet, they were looking for flaws and would have complained about anything.
Nana Yaa Omane-Peprah
May 2, 2011
Preston,glad you mentioned the ugly carpet bit,for most clients that is the first noticeable flaw at most banquet halls..i am also gratified to know that good is sometimes good enough,I waste too much time paying attention to details.thanks for posting.God bless
Renae Quigley
May 2, 2011
Preston;
Thanks for the reminder that perpective is just as important for us as it is for our clients.
I have three guidelines I like to remind both myself and our clients about when “obsessing” takes over.
#1 – On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being a natural disaster and 10 being the end of life as we know it, where does this issue|dilema fall? If it doesn’t rate on the scale then it’s probably not going to have too dramatic an effect on the outcome of the day.
#2 – How does the issue|dilema afferct the final outcome of the day? Is it going to prevent the client from fulfilling her dream of becoming Mrs. Wonderful? If not, then again, it probably doesn’t require a lot of sleepless nights and stress.
and finally #3 (this one is specific to paper choices, ribbon colors etc). At the end of the day, more often then not the favor|program|invite etc. is likely going to end up in the trash. Granted a few people will hold onto them, but not for an indefinite period of time; and then it too will meet its demise in the trash bin.
And I agree, most people won’t even notice the infinite details or finishing touches enough to have a thought one way or the other.
Rusty Thomas Event Designs
May 2, 2011
My first party was for the annual trustees dinner at MOMA in 1986, as a novice. Then I worked for Robert Isabel, Renny, The Carlyle Hotel (parties and all flowers for the public spaces), before going out on my own professionally. Nothing in the planning and execution (and strike!) of an event leaves a bad taste–like over-obsessing about certain details–for the staff of the venue, the other production vendors, etc. I say that because when I shop on 28th Street in NYC, I have all too often witnessed floral/event designers obsessing over a flower petal color next to a fabric swatch (quite frankly I can never tell a difference when I glance over at their stressing so much about it). This kind of perfection-stressing only leads to those designers being rude, “uppity”, and condescending to those vendors, venue staff, etc. Being organized, and with confident planning, it’s ultimately a party and any wedding/event is all about fun for the hosts and guests, as much as the physical beauty of it, and making the event as much fun for everyone.
Jennifer French/Lush Floral
May 3, 2011
Mantra often repeated around my work studio when perfectionism is running too high: “it’ll be dark; they’ll be drinking!” haha! Love this post!
Kasey
May 3, 2011
Thanks for posting this Preston. I don’t know how many times I’ve had this conversation with clients – especially numbers 2 and 4! Glad to see we’re all on the same page!
Nicole Steetle
May 3, 2011
I just love your blog. As a newbie in the profession, it really give me something to think about eat day and how to approach things differently. It’s great for self-exploration
Thanks!
Red Bridge Studio
May 3, 2011
I’m a pattern & accessories designer. There have been many times that my reach for perfection would slow me down or yield no results at all. I’ve recently “discovered” that good is good enough, which allows me to be more productive. What a timely post. Thanks- TH
Gloria Brown
May 13, 2011
I don’t consider myself a perfectionist but I like everything as best as it could be. I think the best way to handle an obsessed client is to offer sample displays along the journey. I think obsessed clients are very visual people and you can calm them with visual. The only part of the wedding that has to be perfect is the brides hair, makeup and gown. If the bride feels perfect about herself then it will help her feel that everything else is great!