MORE ON RECOMMENDATIONS IN THE WEDDING AND EVENT PLANNING INDUSTRY

May 9, 2011

recommendations for the wedding and event planning industry

(Image via sarae)

This morning I introduced the topic of recommendations and how, unfortunately, some recommendation tactics in the wedding and event planning industry aren’t always fair or reliable. We’ve already discussed those dreaded preferred vendor lists from venues. Now, I’d like to tackle commissions and nasty gossip.

If you recommend me for a job, and the client hires me, should I give you a commission? Absolutely. And here’s why. As much as I despise event and wedding planning industry kick backs, I also think that if  someone recommends me for a big job, a gift — even a cash one — is very appropriate. It’s important to show your gratitude to those who think highly of your work and recommend you to others. Therefore, I am all for a monetary token of appreciation.

But what about our peers? Sometimes, other vendors will bad mouth you in order to secure a job for themselves. It’s unprofessional; it’s rude; it’s dishonest; it happens all the time. Countless clients have told me that other vendors have suggested they not even bother calling me, because I’m way too expensive. This is especially irksome, because, in reality, my prices are similar, if not the same, as those other vendors. Some vendors have also told my clients that they can do the same design I’m offering but for much less… can you imagine the nerve?! Not cool.

The best way to play the recommendation game, if we must call it a game, is this: I recommend vendors who I know do great work. All I ask in return is that you recommend me when you have the opportunity.

Now, a few questions for you:

1. How do you feel about thanking someone for recommending you with a monetary gift?
2. To your knowledge, have you ever been badmouthed by another vendor? If so, how did you handle the situation?

And, don’t forget, tomorrow is my first Dear Preston column!

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  • https://www.google.com/profiles/117662143597439890687 afcpam

    I’ve had the “she’s too expensive” comments to brides from other vendors. They compare my costs to cost of a florist, whose services are different from mine, so I understand what you are talking about. Educating the public, via blogging, public speaking opportunities, seminars, etc. are a great way to sell your services.

    One mother-of-the-bride called to tell me that we were way more than another “florist”, could I lower my prices. I told her that I don’t apologize for my prices, they are what they are, and you get what you pay for. She hired me!

    Most of my referrals I return with a referral, but on occasion I do take the vendor to lunch. If I were getting referrals for events the size of yours, I certainly would do something monetary.

  • http://www.wendys-bridalaffairs.blogspot.com wendy

    I don’t take money for a recommendation and I would not expect to give money for one. I, like you, recommend vendors that I know do a superb job and that I have worked with.

    I have no idea if I have ever been bad mouthed by another planner. I certainly don’t tell a potential client not to hire someone else. I do have my personal opinions of certain vendors, based on other people’s feedback or my own personal knowledge. But, that is something that stays within the community and not to the general public. If someone asks me an honest question, I will give an honest answer.

    And, I would love to be able to refer you to a client! Here in Philadelphia, there aren’t many brides who would realize what fabulous work you do. Maybe someday- if I am lucky!

  • http://www.orangegirlphotographs.com Kirstie

    I recommend people based on their work and because I think they are a right fit for my client. I don’t believe in monetary gifts because you are setting up an expectation and how do you know for future jobs if you are being recommended based on being the right person for the job or because they are anticipating the gift? I think it is a bit of a conflict to be upset at vendors offering venues money for recommendations but then to offer monetary gifts in your own practice.

    Often times clients will book their venue, then book me as their photographer and at that point I get a few requests for other vendors that I recommend including wedding planners. I recommend the people that I work well with and that I know will do an amazing job for my clients. I would never take a monetary gift from any of the vendors that have been hired based on my recommendation, it would not feel right. In return for my recommendation I expect that a vendor do an amazing job for our clients and nothing more. I would hate to recommend someone and have it go badly as it would look badly on me for putting their name forward so for me the quality of the job they do for the client is priority.

    If someone recommends me than I like to send a hand written note. If it is another vendor that recommends me like a wedding planner or a florist then I make sure I take care of them by providing photographs for their portfolio and in the case of the wedding planner recommendation I do the best job possible for their client so they are happy that they put my name forward.

  • http://www.partiesbykristen.vpweb.com Kristen

    I have had the experience in someone saying I was too expensive, when in fact I charge the industry norm. There are many inexperienced planners cropping up and they are getting gigs because they undercut the typical percentage most in our industry charge. Sure they are cheaper, but what value do they offer? Do they give you access to the best vendors at the best prices? Do they have design experience? Many can show up and tell clients what to do and direct a rehearsal. However, it takes someone with experience to do more than just direct a wedding. Those of us who have been around the block can provide them with a memorable experience that the client will never forget.

  • http://www.blog.splendidaffairs.co.za Eve

    1. I think the practice of badmouthing to get a client is a poor one. The best I can do is to sell myself to the best ability and hope that the client will see what I offer, the quality of my work and confidence of my designs. In the end, it is the bride’s choice.
    I want to work with the bride who chose my designs above all others and wants to work with me, thus trusting that I will do the best job. I feel TRUST is a big issue between a client and a designer/planner.

    2. I have, in a very recent past, advised my client against using a supplier based on a very poor performance at the last wedding we worked together. I have consulted with my legal team after receiving a legal letter from the same provider intending to sue me for defamation of character and loss of income. I was told that it is NOT illegal not to recommend, it in fact may be deemed malicious not to disclose vital information which can influence the quality of experience by the bride on her wedding day (I am in South Africa bearing in mind). SO there is a big difference of bad mouthing and recommending based on experience, yes it is a very grey area to some, but in fact it is all about doing a great job and waiting for recommendations based on the quality of service provided. Because if you are good, people will notice.

    3. I would like for people in the industry to refer me based on the quality of my work, not potential gift or commission. In my network of preferred suppliers, we tend to trade in favours – photographers shooting my decor for my blog, I promote them on my blog and recommend them, I always get quality images of my decor and flowers, things like that rather that. We work together to promote each other. That to me seems very fair.

    Maybe I am too new school, but I don’t believe in commission.

  • http://YOURWEBSITE Angela

    I totally detest it when other vendors say we are over priced or too expensive and you are right- they probably charge more or even rip them blindly. I have been upset so many and have decided to challenge one or two of them. But I have been advised to just ignore them. Also a friend said to me- if they say you are expensive, then it cuts off those who cant afford you. I do not recommend those other vendors for anything, but will never be found running anyone down. On the kickbacks. We usually give 10% on the management or design fee and not on the total budget. Thanks.

  • http://YOURWEBSITE cialis acheter

    il me semble, vous ГЄtes droits

  • http://www.jpband.com John Parker

    Preston, Apologies I’m so “late to the party” as to this discussion, but find this subject near & dear to my heart. If paying for a recommendation is ok, then what is the RIGHT amount to pay? Even a rough idea would be nice to know…

    And I do think in some situations this is apropos, something I see a lot is when planners who otherwise never call come to me and say “I’ve got you a job” which, when translated, means “my client wants to hire you despite my best efforts to push them towards my ‘better paying’ vendors” – which is unfortunate…

    And usually the clients eventually tell me this too by the way.. (that they were telling the planner they wanted me & the planner way saying “no, you want my recommendation:”)

    Anyway, would be good to know what the rule of thumb is for these monetary “gifts” – as in my business as 5% could represent 50% of my profit. Cheers!

  • http://thefarmvenue.com the farm.

    How do you prepare your client for the other comments you know are going to hear, without sounding like you are defending negative comments you are ‘expecting’ unbeknownst to the client? We work in a very cut throat field of event production/venue &I vendor management where a lot of the vendors try to undermine us, & try to take the client into their own hands.