DEAR PRESTON: HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF?

Laura
May 24, 2011

Poor and Confident might be, err, poor and confident but I’d also hazard a guess that they are angry and bitter. Why else take the time to write such a horrid note?
Yes, what Preston does is extravagant, outlandlish maybe. But he can only operate because there is a demand for this. I take your point that his clients may be competitive and go over the top, but so what? They’ve earned that right by working hard!
Get over yourself.

Christopher Graddick
May 24, 2011

The manner in which people entertain is a reflection of who they are. This also applies to their vendors. Venue, food, decorations, entertainment are based on a budget; however, the objective for individuals who serve in this profession is the same: to have a good time. Regardless of what level this is done (i.e. how much money is spent), it should be done well which you demonstrate consistently. Furthermore, no “true” expression of art can be without thought or soul. Art is divine.

Heather
May 24, 2011

Here are my thoughts…

First, I would like to say to the writer- While you may honestly wonder these things, there are better ways to ask. It is not appropriate to attack someone the way you have done.

To answer Preston’s question- I believe that celebrations are an important part of life. There are so many horrible things that happen in this world. The recent tornado in MO is just one example. Celebrations allow us the chance to come together and focus on the more positive parts of life. They take us out of reality and into a dream world for a short time. We need this. We need to remember there are great things in this world, and those are the things we live for.

“Over the top” is a matter of opinion and perception. Anything that is out of one individual’s budget will likely seem over the top. But if it isn’t your money, it really isn’t your place to judge how they spend it. Yes, the world might be a little better off if the money was placed in a charity instead of for a party. But these parties and celebrations bring people together and create memories. And that is priceless.

Tammy
May 24, 2011

My first reaction if she doesn’t like your work why is she following you? She/he has some obvious personal issues. Preston you bring people ideas and dreams to life and I follow you now only because you create beautiful things but because you are passionate about what you do! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and this is just that! You have many more fans that makes up for this hater luv ya Preston!

Jenni LaChance
May 24, 2011

WOW! I understand your hesitation to post this Preston. While I do agree with your designs being over the top and extravagant I see nothing wrong with it. You have worked hard to be where you are and you are an inspiration to people like me just starting out. What I don’t get or appreciate is the comment of how do you live with yourself. I am sure you pour your heart into these designs and so I guess I would say they clearly do not have any experience in the industry.

Crystal Adair-Benning
May 24, 2011

I think all of us go through moments of “what is my contribution to this life?” and want to know that our work makes an impact. Yes, we are not doctors or policemen. Yes, our world involves creating and celebrating beauty. What’s wrong with that? We could all use a bit more beauty in our lives? If you didn’t do what you do, Preston, you couldn’t afford to be involved with the charities you are. If you didn’t do what you do who’s to say you wouldn’t be the poor downtrodden, Poor & Confident is so worried about?

I think that what matters in this life is happiness. If you’re happy and the work you do makes others happy – what’s wrong with that? The world could use a bit more happiness if you ask me.

We all make contributions in this life – yours happens to be beauty. If another questions that value than perhaps it is within their own life that your contribution is missing most.

Johanna Luna
May 24, 2011

Preston,
Take this comment with a grain of salt. I have followed your blog and work for some time now, and have noticed that you open yourself and your work up to the comments and criticism of your readers, followers and fans. That is a very responsible thing to do… not to mention brave. Your work is breathtaking and beautiful. You are a true inspiration – and artist! Not everyone can afford an original Van Gogh. That does not make it any less valuable or take from its beauty. In fact, people replicate the artist in prints which are affordable for people to buy. You inspire planners all over the world (myself include) and go one step further to educate people on how to use the inspiration all around us to create artist events. The wedding industry can be daunting for a bride on a budget, and while your inspiring work is gorgeous, it leaves brides such as these hopeless at times that so much is out of reach. The heavy price tag that immediately follows an engagement can be a let the air out of any bride’s inflated enthusiasm about getting married. You must remember, Preston that although your work may be “gluttonous” to one reader it inspires millions. You do so much for charities, for students and inspiring wedding planners, for this industry and FOR LOVE. Keep doing what you are doing. Just remember with every great success there will always be those who find something to criticize.
Sincerely,
Johanna Luna

Tandy
May 24, 2011

My personal take would be, when there is a demand there is a supply.
There are such suppliers because there are such discerning clients out there, we can’t blame the fact that some of the high net-worth people just have a desperate need to show off, however some of them merely take it as a gesture to celebrate that one special day, it is natural that they want the very best of everything that are well within their spending power. Which means our definition of “The Best” may be different to what those of big-spenders.

We – the artists are merely crafting, translating and executing our clients’ expectations, so I do not see why we should feel guilty to perform.

Elaine (RehearsalDinnerGuide.com)
May 24, 2011

Preston,

First of all, kudos to you for sharing this for your followers to respond to vs. hiding it under the rug, so to speak. My 1st reaction having been a higher end bridal consultant in ATL before launching RDG is that the individual is missing the point that there is a market for all levels of event planning and decor/creative designs.

Purchasing a wedding gown might be a good analogy…some have the budget for a gown in great condition but worn before purchased from a consignment store while others may have the budget and desire to purchase theirs from a higher end store like Kleinfelds. The point is not where they bought the dress but the bride’s individual financial means, desires and tastes. You certainly don’t “force” your design upon anyone that doesn’t have the budget just to have your ego stroked.

It’s a shame that this person is making such a bold comment without doing enough research on the industry…the DIY movement has come along way since I was coordinating weddings from 2000 to 2007 and those with a tight budget with champagne taste can create quite a memorable event with a heavy dose of creativity and ingenuity.

Also, I must admit it seems this individual may not share the love of design and appreciation for it that others such as you do. As you said on last week’s twitter chat, you are inspired by the simplest things in life and it seems to me that your appreciation of god’s great gift of nature and your god-given talent of design is why you are so successful today.

In conclusion, we all are humble professionals in this industry and certainly don’t take a client’s desire (again referring to the fact there is a marketplace for high end designs) to create what some may call “over the top” for {granted}. I look forward to reading other comments from colleagues and want to thank you for inspiring us all to reach for the top!

Sincerely,

Elaine

JENNIFER BORGH
May 24, 2011

Of course there are some events that are empty and soulless but I would hardly say that anyone doing a high end event has that issue. Both budget and high end events can have a lot to offer. Life is too short not to celebrate the happy occasions. Weddings and Events give families a chance to spend time, friends a good time to remember and serve a positive purpose.

Dear poor and Confident. You would be much richer if you could look at the upside instead of the downside.

Tanya Malott
May 24, 2011

Preston, I have had the pleasure of photographing some of the events you have created, and we share a similar client base, and I have struggled at times with the notion of excess at weddings. But I STRONGLY disagree with your writer about rich people being “rich and insecure (with) a desperate need to show off”. That is absurd. Rich people are people too. Some are as described, some are not, just like all people at all income levels. When I am part of an event that costs millions of dollars, I am simply GRATEFUL that these people are willing to spend their money to create something unique and beautiful. They do not ask for discounts. They pay for the best of the best and they get it, and as a result, a lot of other vendors are able to pay a lot of other bills in their lives. I believe in trickle down economics because I live it. When I shoot an ‘over the top’ event, I can then afford to pay my contractor to renovate my house….and he can pay his subs, and so on and so on. Yes, $10M seems absurd for a wedding….unless you are worth billions….in which case it is not EVEN a drop in the bucket. You pay in cash, you pay full price, you incur no debt, and you make a LOT of vendors happy. What is absurd is seeing people use credit and go into debt to pay for a wedding they CAN’T afford, because they are trying to appear more successful than they really are. I am certain that the same person who spends $10M on a wedding is also writing checks for that amount and more to charity. Why shouldn’t they enjoy their own party once in a while?

Marianne Raub
May 24, 2011

I think that if you did not use your incredible talent you’d be a waste of space. Plenty of poor and middle class people have weddings they can’t afford and they too end up divorcing. You can’t group people by income and say that *all* the rich ones are empty or shallow. Also I myself get inspired by your ideas and they can be scaled down so that they are similar and affordable to almost any budget. Even though it’s not the same on the grand scale. Most people just like a particular look. While I do admit that people like your critic speaks of do exist, not everyone falls into their small minded groups. There is no way this person knows all of your clients personally and no way can they prove that none of them have any heart or do not help their fellow man. Dear Preston, I think what you have on your hands here is a know-it-all who by judging your work and clients makes themselves feel better about who they are. Either that or it’s a very bitter, jealous person who can’t be happy for another’s good fortune. …Or maybe it’s both. Keep on keeping on. You’re the best!

Lauren
May 24, 2011

Event design is an artform. Poor and Confident must then think that a Picasso shouldn’t sell anywhere but Walmart. To degrade art by cheapening it only hurts society. Beautiful and expensive things aren’t sinful. However, envy is. I think poor and confident should examine her/himself and really think about the value of art, it’s place in our society and maybe try to learn how to be happy for others. I couldn’t afford Preston’s services, but I still appreciate his art and dont stereotype his clients as being rich snobs. Those “rich and insecure” people are still people and, my guess, is that they probably give back to their communities, because most affluent people do in some way feel some kind of social responsibility. They may be insecure but at least they’re not ignorant.

Simply Chic
May 24, 2011

As a bridal writer I’ve seen my fair share of weddings… I do agree that by most standards your work is extravagant and exxagerated with lots of excess, but I’m not sure why the writer thinks its “empty and soulless” Each to their own, some people want something understated and simple and others want something over the top. Everyone is allowed to have their idea of classy and beautiful.

Natalie ~ Hello Darling
May 24, 2011

I am the owner of Hello Darling a boutique floral and event styling company in Chicago. Years ago I had the pleasure of freelance designing along with Preston’s staff as he created a dream come true on set wedding for one of Oprah’s shows. I was struck be his sweet demeanor, his professionalism, his positive nature, and the the respect you could feel he had for his entire crew. Anyone who knows Preston’s work knows it’s big, it’s one-of-a-kind, and it’s seemless, however they may not know what it takes to create that vision for one night or a few days as it often is. This industry is built on some seriously strong bones. In order to read a client’s dreams and create them in realisty one must have intuition, patience, creativity, vision, brains, guts galore, and a dedicated staff of designers, assistants, managers….and of course, the client with a dream. This industry should be deemed an art form as much as any other. It brings so much joy to so many people, and so many jobs to those people who make it possible. It’s truly a shame that anyone outside of the industry speculates that we are doing anything other than working our butts off to see smiles on our clients faces. We know who we are though. Go Preston! You’re AMAZINGLY talented, and I revel in your visions brought to life page after page. xo, Natalie Walsh

Sandra Bennett
May 24, 2011

Ditto! to mostly all of what each “fan” has said. It’s good that we examine our own lives and see where we stand; where our contributions to this world lies. However; never is it our right to question the gifting our creator has endowed someone else with. Your divine insight and extraordinarily unique ability to create what you imagine is a blessing to each of us in it’s own personal way. So, Sir before giving this any more thought than you ought; look within yourself and ask your creator If he’s pleased with what you done with the precious gift he’s entrusted you with.I think you’ll be surprised to know… The Lord God has given you that creative gift for the people of this world to enjoy and you have far exceeded many of our expectations of beauty. You’ve brought joy and precious moments that will forever be enamored in the hearts and minds of those whom you’ve been able to touch directly or like me indirectly through the pages of magazines and television. Love ya Brother & CONTINUE FULFILLING YOUR GOD GIVEN PURPOSE!!

Anne Marie Foy
May 24, 2011

Mr Poor and Confident, Preston’s work is true artistry and sheer talent…and Preston Bailey and Soulless can not be used in the same sentence, if you have ever had any personal communication with Preston. Spending a million on an event is a choice and can not be judged by anybody….Your statement is very narrow-minded and unfounded….and you may want to stop reading this blog which is about beauty, inspiration and dream……Have a great day Mr Poor and Confident….

Tanya Malott
May 24, 2011

One more comment….I think a HUGE lesson you are offering here is getting overlooked…

You paused before responding. You took a few days to reflect so that you wouldn’t say something you would later regret. Bravo! That is huge.

That is a lesson we all need to learn. I am trying to teach it to my son, who is 12, so that he doesn’t have to learn it the harder way as an adult.

The internet is forever. Everything you write (publicly and privately) can come back to you when you least expect it. Your considered response and post is noteworthy for sharing this as well.

Tammy
May 24, 2011

I think it is wonderful of you to open yourself to us and discuss this topic.
With regards to your work – you design such beautiful arrangements and events – key word – beautiful. We all need beauty in our lives – whether it be floral arrangements,an event or something simple that makes us smile. Life can be too clinical – what is the point of life if there is no beauty.
Thank God for your talent which brings beauty into our lives and reminds us to “stop and smell the roses”

Azar
May 24, 2011

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAY?

maiabdelkader88
May 24, 2011

Preston,

I’m really glad you shared this post with us – your fans. There are certain type of people who like to criticize others work because of failing or not being able to reach the standards others achieved with hard work and pure talent.

You are an inspiration to millions around the globe not because of your “expensive” designs but for your creativity and LOVE for what you do which is very obvious

To “Poor & Confident”, true there are people who can “AFFORD” to pay for such high end events, that doesn’t mean they are bad people, it means they earned their living and have the enough money to indulge themselves and others….Not a crime.

Not everyone has this luxury but that doesn’t give you the right to harshly criticize someone for their AMAZING work, because YOU can’t afford it!!!

Paris
May 24, 2011

I can’t see why ‘Poor & Confident’ has such a problem with aspirational living? These ‘over the top’ works are inspiring to others – most of whom get a fraction of the budget to work with. I have a sneaking suspicion that ‘Poor & Confident’ is an unsuccessful events planner – the harshest critics usually are…..

Michelle
May 24, 2011

One’s ability to afford the ‘best’ does not make them shallow nor does it make the vendor that satisfies the wish less humane. EVERYONE has the desire for and wants their ‘best’ and supplying that ‘best’ is what each vendor should (and I hope does) strive to provide. Poor (this is a dangerous word and should not be used to describe someone’s economic status…Words create vision) and Confident is where I was headed, I do not intend to belittle this person’s feelings but the way you see yourself is the way others will see you. This road leads to bitterness and MANY missed opportunities.
I had clients with budgets that allowed what one might consider over-the-top ambiance and I had clients with what they thought were limited budgets but the result was nothing less than spectacular. The vision and mission is to provide the BEST for EVERY CLIENT.
Preston your work is beautiful and pleasing … someone appreciates what you have to offer or how would you be where you are? You give what your clients want and you also give back by inspiring others and showing us that creative imagination is limitless, NO MATTER THE BUDGET!

Chesterfield Floral Co.
May 24, 2011

I have been an admirer of your work for some time. My observation is that if there is an overarching theme in your style it would be “dramatic” or “theatrical.” Wonderfully so.. When you create theater you will also create critics..Of course there is a feeling of resentment by some toward the folks who are perceived to have had a heavy hand in the shenanigans that caused the failure of this economy. I’ve seen the more well heeled in my client list make adjustments to not appear too “ostentatious” as they see some of their neighbors lose the ability to give their kids the wedding of their dreams. I say, if you’ve got it, spend it.. for the good of your country! Thanks for this brave share.

Mark Moore
May 24, 2011

Dear Preston,

I agree that eveyone is entitled to their own opinion, and further more, agree that it should, even on a public platform such as this, be viewed and commented by fellow readers.

I mean, is this not the industry we are in, to endulge our clients’ needs, so what if they, the client, want something OTT, if they can afford it, so be it!. You are who you are because of what you do and what you believe in. I bet you never do anything you don’t feel 100% proud of or ever attempt the mediocre for that matter! Your passion and energy you put in to your work shows and should be praised for that!

Sure, there are the many poor and “confident” pricks out there that don’t share the same views, but that’s the beauty of it all…It takes many to make a world! Each one to his own! All that’s needed at the end is a little respect and consideration!

Thumbs up to you Preston! And keep it up! One should not live on the edge cause you just take up space…fit in or f***off, I could go on!…but the point is this. Preston is not who is is and where he is beacuse of putting other people down or belittleing others work, instead he motivates and inspires us to do our best, in everything we do!

According to me, and I would think others would agree…You live just superb with yourself! – Keep it up

….and as for ‘ol poor and confident…he should start sending out more positive energy and get rid of that crap he’s holding on!….Shame!

MARK MOORE – South Africa

Azar
May 24, 2011

Preston,

I’m a little confused as to why this reader is following you. If something gets under your skin, why keep up with it and further your irritation?! This message is definitely not to praise you or to tell you how wrong Poor and Confident is… but i felt compelled to comment. Everyone has the right to their opinion and this reader decided to verbalize. I don’t agree with the manner in which this reader got his/her point across, but having said that, I can understand the frustration. The reality is that the world’s wealth is in the hands of very few people while most of us can’t afford life’s everyday necessities. You can understand why then, a person would see your lavish events and feel overwhelmed at the amount of money some can spend on a celebration (of any kind).

I myself find inspiration in everything that you do and that is the reason why I follow you. My advice to Poor and Confident is to channel your frustrations in a more useful way. Writing an event designer and attacking his work won’t make a difference. Even if he stopped in his tracks tomorrow, you wouldn’t be any richer or more confident. No one can help you, but yourself.

Preston you are a very intelligent man so we don’t have to get into how unfair this world actually is. You know very well that wealth is not always acquired through hard work and that some people (perhaps even some of your clients) have done less than admirable things to keep up with their expenses toys and ‘over the top’ events. I know that I for one have thought of that while browsing through your events at times. It’s hard not too. Having said all this stuff… thank you for sharing with us. Writing Poor and Confident should be a breeze. You don’t have to justify yourself nor do you have to upset yourself for how someone feels about the ‘rich and flaunting it’.

Lori
May 24, 2011

True ART is never empty or without soul. Humans crave ART because it feeds the emptiness within our souls. Since the beginning of civilization ARTISTS have been supported by wealthy patrons. Their patronage (or wanton lifestyle) has allowed ALL of US (wealthy, poor, insecure, confident, suffering, jubilant, miserable or estatic) to share the vision of beautiful creations. God bless people with money and the ARTISTS they support!

Monica
May 24, 2011

Clearly Pooer and Confident has not grasped their own worth and greatness. Preston, you have been given the gift of creating over-the-top beauty. Keep us inspired and awestruck.

Monica

'Drea
May 24, 2011

Some people choose to drive Bentleys and some choose Hyandais…it’s a choice and a market for everyone! I chose to get my inspiration from the Bentley, and in this case it’s you Preston. Keep doing what you do, making your clients dreams come true, and getting paid, because broke won’t be in business long!

Raean
May 24, 2011

Wow Preston!

I’ve admired your work for quite a long time. I have seen how your company has grown and developed. And how your websites directions has changed of the years. You have became a household name, inspiring many novice event production artists, to create amazing over the top events with the budget they have to work with!

As an producer or planner isn’t our goal to create the a fantasy for one night (pending on the event of course)? No matter what the guests budget is, why shouldn’t they have that luxury?

May I remind the writer of the comment that you, like every other planner, have to still create any event like no other, while staying true to the budget. Please remember your background.

Ursula
May 24, 2011

I still remember the first time I saw one of your books and what an incredible impact it had on me! I remember turning the page to Melissa Rivers’ wedding and my jaw literally dropping…I had never seen anything so beautiful, peaceful and serene. I just imagined what it must have been like to be a guest at that event. It must have felt like walking into a painting. The amount of love, soul and dedication poured into that event was felt through the images, and it’s even more beautiful because it lived on in the hearts and minds of the guests and of those who were inspired by it.
I think such a sad and gross generalization this reader has made about wealthy people. I’m sure Joan Rivers worked her butt off in dingy comedy clubs for years, working hard so that she could provide for her daughter. Years later, she is finally successful and wants to provide her only daughter the wedding experience of a lifetime, and YOU made that happen for her. You, with your magical team of artists took her vision, the reason why she worked so hard for so many years, and you made it a reality. It maybe a luxury, but why should she be denied that joy? What is the point of working hard and sacrificing yourself, if when you finally get to enjoy it, you’re being criticized for it? The reader only wants to recognize the glossy photos, but doesn’t see beyond it. She doesn’t recognize the blood, sweat and tears that you and your clients went through to be where you are, and the blood, sweat and tears that I’m sure you pour into every event. It is easy to see things one dimensional when you only look at one side.
Please know that what you do is stunning, scrape your jaw off the floor, ART. God Himself probably had no idea when he created flowers that they could be manipulated into the works of art you create! Thank you for continuing to “live with yourself” as you inspire me and millions of others with what you do!

Nebilah Ronke Igiebor
May 24, 2011

Just as you are free to express yourself Mr. /Ms Poor and Confident, so are other people entitled to how much value they decide to put on a wonderful memory! We are all free to decide whether to frame a memory in Gold or plastic! Some people are put by God on this earth to help you visualize, plan and execute your dream event! To answer your question; The thought that the memory of a beautiful event brings a smile and gladness to a client’s face and heart long after the actual event is how Mr. Preston lives with himself! Thats the reason why you and everyone else have followed him all these years! My opinion? Mr Preston is a gift to human kind!

Stacy Mckoy
May 24, 2011

Seriously??? Anyone who truly knows you Preston knows that you’re over the top AND THAT’S WHY WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!! We can’t always please everyone and from what I have learned from you it’s not about being better than the competion, it’s about being DIFFERENT!!!!! Your work is never cookie cutter and is simple breathtaking!!!!!!!!!! You are a man in a league of your own, a leader not a follower, keep inspiring us and doing what you do best!!!!!!!!!!!!!Now, on to your next jaw dropper……….

Amilia Gani
May 24, 2011

I had somebody wrote on my FB page about my bridal decor work being Over the Top. With an experience of being an interior designer for 15 years, I understand how design & decor for home interiors is Not the same in comparison to wedding works & designing for events. Given that your clients & the guests will be spending a few hours savouring the environment & atmosphere, decor & design for an event has to be very visual & most memorable. If it is done with too much restraints, as interior designers would do for home interiors, it may not work.I am sure too Poor & Confident is not the type of clientele or fan of your work….beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. So do not be offended with his views.

Mabel Kraus
May 24, 2011

This person is part of the industry in some way, an industry that he doesnt like or understand, and if he is not, why has been following Preston, and is interested in his work and his ideas, ? what is his point?

Tacroy
May 24, 2011

I thought Azar had a very thoughtful letter. As somebody who recently waited four years to complete treatment for a jaw tumor due to lacking the $4000 or so dollars needed to do so, and who just declared bankruptcy as a result of said jaw tumor, I understand the frustration and anger that one can sometimes feel in witnessing somebody who is very wealthy spend enormous amounts of money on, say, an evening of bottle service, when the cost of that evening of bottle service could keep an entire family in desperate need from going under.

However, as somebody else pointed out, the patronage of the wealthy has been critical to the work of artists for thousands of years. Without that relationship, the human race would have been deprived of the Taj Mahal, Mozart, Michaelangelo …One might call the commissioner of Mozart’s Requiem Mass “frivolous” and “extravagant” for spending “unnecessary” money to commemorate the death of his wife. But if people Count Franz von Walsegg, who understand the vital importance of art and artists to humanity, didn’t provide the means to bring these works of art into the world … who would? In a perfect world, governments would play a greater role in funding the work of artists, but even that has limitations. Without people willing to “throw their disposable income away” on art, we’re left with only what’s marketable on a mass scale – in other words, bye-bye HBO and AMC TV shows, and hello to a television world populated only by things like “Big Brother” and “Jersey Shore.” Bye-bye to Broadway, bye-bye to artisans and craftsmen whose work might be out of reach of those of us who, like me, are on Ikea-only budgets … you get the idea.

Before deciding to elope, one of the most gratifying aspects of planning a big wedding was the chance to patronize artists who were doing the wonderful work of bringing beauty and wonder into the world, as opposed to what I usually do, which is feed my hunger for such things by looking at pictures of them on the internet . For some wealthy people, hiring Preston is probably in large part a status symbol. However, I have a feeling that there are many who see their weddings as creative expressions of their joy and love, and who are thrilled to a) have a chance to access their own creative spirits, which so rarely find opportunity for expression in daily life, and b) to reward, encourage, and provide the means for extraordinary artists like Preston to bring their gifts to the world.

Henk Wesselink
May 24, 2011

I feel that Poor and Confident might be a tat jealous….
Why would someone follow someone’s blog for quite some time if you feel it is empty and soulless… If you would have felt that way when you came across the blog you would simply not follow it.

Preston, Your work is amazing! I work in a beautiful florist and our work might not be as “out there” as yours is but your work inspires us and want us to think outside the box.

Have a glass of wine and relax and keep on creating

Tyra
May 24, 2011

Dear Preston,

This may or may not address the depth of this issue, but upon hearing this comment, I had an immediate thought. I believe that everyone on this earth was born with a gift, a God given talent that few others share. By utilizing this gift, we allow our light to shine and make the world a better place. If we are fortunate, we discover this gift early and spend our lives working to perfect it. You have achieved this and I admire and honor you for it. Your work is beautiful and has brought me great joy and inspiration.

I have spent a great portion of my life working in fields I was not attuned to, while being creative on the side and happily serving others for the joy I received. Recently I came to a turning point and am now moving toward a career in the design and arts and entertainment fields. Deep in my soul, I know I am on the right path and finally feel at home. I wish the same for everyone.

Carol
May 24, 2011

I became aware of you Preston, after seeing you on a design show 5 years ago. I was first struck by your eloquence. Then I went to your website, and wow, just wow..as a budding florist I had never seen anything like it. It WAS over the top. But it was fascinating and riveting. I could not stop looking at your designs, and the animals made out of flowers. I decided to write to you on a whim. And you answered! I was so excited and your email was so kind, and encouraging. As a florist you exposed me to a world which was so out there, so out of my league that I instantly transformed myself as a designer. I think this person may be having a bad day, maybe projecting some anger onto you..If I were you I would just ignore it, rely on us, your fans, to let you know that your advice and guidance is something we look forward to. It’s like my upcoming family reunion- I am not going to let the one peson I dislike keep me from seeing the 200 people I love. Have a wonderful day!

Anonymous
May 24, 2011

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAY?

Jaemi
May 24, 2011

WOW!… I think I’m speechless!

First, to the writer – It’s unfair for you to judge a man who is simply doing his job. I think most would agree with me when I say that Preston Bailey is a mastermind when it comes to event designing. Very few have been able to accomplish what he has and we should celebrate this with him instead of deeming or questioning what he does because you, personally, may not be able to afford his or like services.

To Mr. Bailey… simply said – YOU ARE THE MAN!!! Many in the wedding and event planning & design field long to have clients that are able to afford such before work. Hey, we long just for a client with a descent budget that wants to do something different instead of just doing the same old traditional things.

Keep doing what you do and let comment like these roll off your back!

Oh and to the writer – you need to chill out! Stop focusing on what others are doing and just do you. Maybe you’ll be happier!

BRENDA MANZANO
May 24, 2011

I´d answer Mr Poor and Confident that is easy to live with oneself when you put passion in any work you get, when you help people to live their dream day no matter if its made of gold or made of paper but the most important thing is to give away something…in this case Preston shares some knowledge to others like me that start in this business. If there weren’t people making over the top events I would know where to set the course, if he didn’t share the problems he already made and solved some of us wouldn’t know where to expect rough wind.

Making harsh comments does not give away anything, does not help anyone.
Regards from Mexico

Olga Pikalova
May 24, 2011

No offense, and be tolerant of such statements! You are a wonderful man who runs a charity and is able to share their knowledge and create beautiful! Something or someone forces us to think and rethink many things, but only when we are ready for it, it certainly teaches us to be just a nice person!

Sonia
May 24, 2011

Hi Preston,

Keep doing what you do best…designing luxurious events for your clients who pay you to design luxurious events. The workman is worthy of his hire, the Bible says. People who spend tons of money on things other people consider frivolous should be labelled “Rich & Confident” .

If I were to call myself Poor & Confident, I would be content in my self-worth; strive with hard work and a positive attitude to be financially free so money would not be an object when I want to celebrate with my loved ones in a luxurious way. I would not despise nor covet the riches of others, knowing they or someone close to them worked hard to get there. I certainly would not waste the energy to harrass or blame an innocent vendor who has earned the respect of rich people who want to hire him. We love your work Preston.
“Soon To Be Rich & More Confident”

Kathy
May 24, 2011

If I felt like this particular reader I would firstly stop following someone I felt had no soul, and secondly keep my opinion to myself…

i worked with you in Saudi Arabia for the princess, it was marvellous. Dont let yourself get down by these maybe even jealous people!
May 24, 2011

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAY?

Amanda
May 24, 2011

I feel sorry for Poor and Confident, because they should add Extremely Judgmental into their anonymous rant as well. Just because someone has the money to produce their dream wedding does not make them soulless or insecure whatsoever! Who are we to judge those we’ve never even met? There are plenty of individuals who are well off, worked hard for their money, and spend much of their life trying to improve the lives of others. Should they not celebrate in grand style if they have the ability to do so??

Preston makes people happy. He gives them marvelous days they will never forget. He produces things they could not without his talent. How does he live with himself? I’m fairly certain the answer is “quite happily”

Rowaida Flayhan
May 24, 2011

Dear Preston, this is only one person that sent you this negative message and on the other hand there are millions of fans that love and admire your work and inspiration. I wont mind this single person’s comment. Best of luck and success.

Gloria Buckman Yankson
May 24, 2011

Wow!! It amazes me how someone, anyone, would want to send this to you Preston. It took me a while to realise my jaw had dropped so law everyone was staring at me. Well, I’d like you to know I follow you because I love your work and everything you do urges me to go for more than just the ordinary. Your work challenges me to not get complacent. Having met you in person, I love you even more. Haters will always hate. Wherever you find yourself in this world. Ask the Doctor, the Pilot, the Architect, even the PA who’s trying to simply do what they do for a living and you’ll know. Just wanted to say: God bless you Preston for enriching my life in many ways.

Larissa Banting
May 24, 2011

Wow, I guess P &C must have some magical insight into the psyche of your clients, just by judging them on their choice of event designer! Following this llogic, I suppose the writer must feel that any high end, luxury items and brands (Bentleys, Guccis, Harry Winston, Ritz-Carlton) are for rich people who need to show off.
There is a market for everyone. It seems to me that Poor & Confident is Poor & Jealous & Bitter. Preston, you are an artist and you have a distinct voice. People who appreciate your work and are able to afford it, hire you.
For someone to attack you means that they must have some serious issues they need to deal with, rather than lashing out at someone else. You have always been very generous with sharing your knowledge and are humble. Let this one slide off your back – great artists have always been met by opposition from mediocre minds.

Kayla Harvey-Belanger
May 24, 2011

As an event planner I have been asked similar questions (though with a little more tact) and I always respond by letting the person know that I understand parties aren’t everything. I also talk to them about how I give back by supporting various charities and encourage my clients to do so with their events. For example, I’ve planned parties where the guest of honor donates their gifts or gives favors that are actually a certificate of contribution to a charity in the guest’s name. While its true that many clients are wealthy it does not mean that they are selfish or insecure. It usually means, in my experience, that they are successful and ambitious. I don’t believe ambition comes out of insecurity. I’m sorry that this reader didn’t take the time to inquire about how you might give back before attacking you with some pretty harsh words. I suspect a deeper issue there. Either way, you have handled the situation with class by not firing back in anger and I commend you!

Slainte,
Kayla Harvey-Belanger

flowerlover
May 24, 2011

Wow, very harsh words from someone who obviously doesn’t get it. Every artist pours their heart and soul into their work. Everyone regardless of how much money they make deserves to celebrate in any manner they desire, whether over the top or small and simple. As a fellow artist I strive to give my clients their dreams no matter their budget and put every ounce of my heart and soul into everything I do. So Poor and Confident are you really confident? or just a tad jealous of someone who has amazing talent, heart, soul and is an inspiration?

Corrine O'Neill @ Buds and Blooms
May 24, 2011

As someone who works in the bridal fashion industry AND the non profit development industry; I think the either-or argument is missing the point. I can certainly somewhat understand where this person is coming from BUT here is my take the money spent on lavish weddings, as it relates to your question about there being so much need in the world.

The money that is earmarked for a $100,000 wedding (or more, or less) was NEVER earmarked for development/aid/charity. It’s nice to try and say, well that money is better spent on X thing. But not only is that relative (some people think space exploration is frivolous when people on earth don’t all have enough to eat; but I care about feeding hungry people AND space exploration); it’s also silly.

People may feel comfortable spending $30,000 or $300,000 on a wedding, but I doubt the vast majority of people would save for years or go into debt to give tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of dollars away. The money was never going toward a cause. We may not agree with how someone decides to spend their money but at the end of the day; we all splurge on something. What that is, and how much money that splurge costs us is completely relative.

My “superficial” job as a milliner supports my “serious” development projects in Ghana. But at the end of the day I’d be happy just helping women feel good about themselves!

Weddings by Allie
May 24, 2011

When you live in the mental state of abundance, abundance surrounds you!
I been a professional wedding planner for years negative people come and go, but when you follow your heart and your dreams you can never go wrong!

ann
May 24, 2011

I believe that poor and confident is not only poor, but also not getting the point of Preston’s work. While Preston’s work is not always for the budget-minded, it is inspirational! And beautiful!! A lot of Prestons ideas can be incorporated into any budget and done on a smaller scale. I remember a comment of his that you don’t need expensive flowers to have make an impressive arrangement, you just need to use one flower, (carnations are inexpensive) and use lots of them! I have done this with beautiful results. And for the people who can afford thousands for wedding flowers, and are able to hire Preston, it is their business…end of story. So, poor and confident, in the future keep your nasty comments to yourself.

Jon R. Davis
May 24, 2011

I am shocked as well. I have worked in the special event industry for the past 13 years. I have worked with the very wealth and the not so wealth. They are both the same. They want to celebrat lifes great moments the best the best they can. The difference is the budget. If they have it why not spend it to create a special moment to for them and there guest to remember. Satisfaction comes from being a part of that moment. Knowing that for as long as some one remember the enjoyment they had due in part to your creativity. That’s why any of us work the long hour behind the scenes to make it happen.
Keep up the good work.

Terri Patton
May 24, 2011

I am thankful that the Puritans are no longer in charge!
Poor and Confident needs to consider a name change and as much as I am not soulless I will not make any suggestions as to what the name change should be!
I would like to take this opportunity to thank Preston for his many years of service to the floral industry! You came along in a much needed time and sparked our imagination! You gave us inspiration by sharing your vast knowledge and creativity! While not every event has a large budget, you helped us think outside the box and up in the air! For this I am very greatful!
Rich, insecure, poor, or confident who cares! A party is a party, a funeral is a funeral, a birthday is a birthday, a birth is a birth, an anniversary is an anniversary, and they all deserve to be honored in a way with flowers at any budget!

Terri Patton <——-my REAL name!

Wendy
May 24, 2011

How rude! Whether you design events for the rich and famous or the middle class, what you do is what you love- how is that empty, soulless or unnecessary? I wish I had some rich, insecure clients to help! But, I certainly don’t begrudge someone of your caliber and history in the business from making money. The industry is loaded with people struggling to survive. You are one of the lucky ones who has managed to continue to work when many of us have lost their businesses. Unless this person has intimate knowledge of who and what you are, how dare they suppose that what you do is somehow useless. I’m sure your clients don’t think so.

Jessica Robinson
May 24, 2011

IThis comment just smacks of attention-seeking. If they were really upset with what you did or what we as an industry did, they’d be actively petitioning the floral industry to be more involved in charity work, they’d be educating the caterers in the proper ways to donate left over food from events to homeless shelters, they’d be spreading the word to couples about the power of donating to a selected charity rather than providing wedding favours. Wait.. our industry already does all this?? Without the accusatory comments required? Hm. Again I say it sounds like someone is out to get attention. We all know that there is more to life than gorgeous table settings and delicious floral arrangements but at the end of the day, the time that was taken to provide such beauty we can NOT live without. How else do you tell people you love them? That you value them in your life? That you are sharing a moment that is so special to you that the only way to truly fully describe it is to imbue the location with all the beauty and colour and magnificence that you can manage? Whether it is strings of marigolds threaded by your children in the garden or strings of orchids threaded by Preston himself – the final result is the same. And anyone who chooses to see it otherwise is really only fooling themselves. We are not vain, vapid creatures here to coddle the rich and protected. We are completely aware of our place in the world and our roles within that place. It is this Poor and Confident who is uncomfortable with this – and that is ok. I didn’t want to do their wedding anyways.

crismarcuyares
May 24, 2011

Preston, I think it’s very brave of you to expose this so openly critical. I could not have done. I would have sent a personal e-mail.
I think every day what you post on this space is very important, are cases with which I identify myself although I live in another country very different to yours. I think people who work at events fully understand the situations that expose here. A client may not understand, because not their job, maybe I could take it personally. Especially when it comes to events. Those who do not have the means to buy a high-level decor might be offended and this can be serious.
I think that whoever wrote it has nothing to do with world events.

Ellen Black, Lehr and Black
May 24, 2011

Dear Preston,

Being in the high end business for 35 years I have thought about this often.
My Mother started our business 50 years ago very poor from the Bronx
and never spent one moment wondering if what she was doing was not only
acceptable but admirable.

I need only look up and see a full staff of people working, raising families on the work we provide. This industry provides good jobs for waiters, waitresses, busboys, drivers, florists..I could go on and on and I thank god every day that our clients provide work for us all. Most of my clients, as of yours I am sure, in addition
to spending money on their events donate millions of dollars to numbers of
charities and many do it anonymously. I have had over the years a few clients
who have worried or felt bad about spending lavishly…I recently reminded a client that as soon as she handed me her deposit I was headed downtown to the
fabric store, paper store, trim companies who were all waiting for my order
and that she should walk into her party..look around at the people working and feel proud!

I was stopped in my tracks many years ago when I was having a particularly bad
day and looked up and said “ughh…I am done with this business” I later received
a phone call from my sister in law who works for me who said please don’t talk like that..when I asked why she said “because this is how we feed our families”
I have never said anything like that again in front of my staff and I am grateful
everyday that our clients are willing to spend their money and extremely proud
of what we do!

chris daniels
May 24, 2011

Well, they were short,succinct, and to the point with their opinion….which is irrelevant as they don’t seem to be a past nor future client,and we all know The Client’s Satisfaction Is Why We Are There…..
Anonymous commentary is so easy on the internet…and also easy to dismiss or act upon..fllow your instinct!

Beatriz Alcázar L.
May 24, 2011

Dear Preston, I think the work we do as event designers is good for our client’s soul. We transport them to a magic world, then is not a spend of money. Rich people are in such condition because the have been working so hard for many years that they deserve it. We are also a kind of inspiration for all creative people and I am so sure that we also do events for charity… Humans need to celebrate, to be happy, to be transported to a wonderfull world that you have the ability to create.

GigMasters (Marta)
May 24, 2011

As someone who writes about weddings, I struggle with these issues myself. Am I encouraging young couples to spend beyond their means? Am I really inspiring people, or just inspiring them to feel jealous?
I try to keep it all in perspective though, I balance photos of amazing weddings with practical budget advice. I balance extravagant ideas with the knowledge that I’m helping small business people and artists earn a living.
I think everyone should ask themselves questions like these.

danielle.gilcrest
May 24, 2011

While I believe the everyone is entitled to free speech, I am also a firm believer in the lessons my late grandmother taught me about dignity and grace. She instilled in me that “there is simply a way to do thing” So perhaps that is why Preston as well as the other 62 respondents are so alarmed by Poor and Confidant’s comments. Personally I I have more compassion then anger for Poor and Confident. It’s a sad world when someone can look at such magnificent designs and see “empty and soulless” (if that’s even a word) Now I realize that beauty and design is completely subjective, but when I see Preston’s designs, I see wonder and endless possibilities. I see a man with no limits which leads me to believe that is how he lives his life. It’s a joy to watch him and an immense honor to learn from him. But again… that is just my opinion and I can respect Poor and Confidants right to feel otherwise, nor is it my place judge him/her. I learned very early that producing events that result in positive emotions for my guest is a very gratifying way to spend my life. My only wish is that Poor and Confidant, can say the same thing about his or her career.

Oh and Preston, there is a time and place for everything. While some parts of the world are experiencing hardships, there are other parts of the world that live in blissful abundance.You have clients that have amassed the money to afford your amazing creations and there is nothing wrong with that.

I too appreciate you posting this letter, it lead to a very open and honest discussion.

Amy
May 24, 2011

Firstly, Preston, I am shocked that someone would actually take the time to write such a hurtful statement and hope that you take it with a grain of salt.

To Poor & Confident, I’d like to educate you a bit about this industry. The hospitality industry is the second largest employer in the US. The funds that Preston’s clients spend on these “over the top” events require sometimes more than 100+ people and many man hours to produce. As an event planner myself, I DEPEND on these types of clients to pay my not so over the top salary.

With respect to the “empty and soulless” sentiment that you feel Preston exudes, I’d like you to really consider if thats how you truly feel his work is. Preston is a trend setter, leader and true artist in our industry. I believe your “poor” taste doesn’t allow you to appreciate his hard work. Perhaps you should spend some time self reflecting to make sure that you yourself are not “empty and soulless” for insulting a leader in the events industry. An event planner’s job is to create events with ease, hiding any challenges or changes, while balancing the clients vision and intent for the event. Perhaps, you should shadow an event planner on a large scale event before passing such judgement that he is “empty and soulless” in order to truly see what an event planner works through on each individual event.

Preston, please continue to produce “over the top” events, as your visions are incredible and I learn so much from your designs. I was able to hear you speak when you came to Boston and I immediately respected you and your ability to produce magnificent events. Thank you.

Paige Wills
May 24, 2011

Wow, firstly I would like to say that I too have been following your work for a while and I have the exact opposite opinion of your work! I think there are two issues in poor and confidents arguement, the first being that your work is ‘empty and souless’. I find this completely rediculous! It is obvious how much thought and planning, and love goes into your events. They look stunning, and I think reflect the client perfectly. Secondly, they have addressed the issue of ‘rich and insecure clients with a desperate need to show off’. All I can say to this is that ‘poor and confident’ obviously has some personal issues with wealthy people and the way they choose to spend their money. I think your work is beautiful, and while it may be ostentatious, it’s up to your clients, because it’s their event that you are designing! I hope you don’t take these comments personally when it is obvious from the number of responses in your favour that your work is far from empty and souless.

Angela
May 24, 2011

Interesting post. What caught my attention is the section where the writer said the clients are insecure. I disagree strongly. I have very high taste and only wish to express anything i do with class and sophistication. I am highly secure and not intimidated in anyway. I get so much joy when I see very tasteful design, parties etc. So designs are basically a reflection of the type of person you are.

Jenny
May 24, 2011

Yes money could be better spent, feeding children and saving the sick but sometimes it’s a t these “over the top/extravagant parties/events” where the “rich and fickle” make donations and raise funds (sums of money that far out weigh the decor costs) as someone that draws on your creativity to inspire my own (though on a much smaller scale) work I say we need people to push the boundaries and help us all grow as people and artists if we don’t have people like you Preston we’ll all stagnate and never move forward… I say onward and upward…

kirsty adams
May 24, 2011

Congratulations Preston for being such a wonderful designer that so many people follow and that clients feel inspired by your work to book you in the first place.

Congratulations poor/Confident for being so confident that you are able to write what you feel. However I am sure that being confident is often mistaken for Anger/Arrogant.

I am sure Preston welcomes views/opinions on his work even if they are negative it is what keeps creativity alive and stops designers from becoming complacent.

With regards to over the top, soulless and empty these are not words that describe any form of Art of Design, possibly could mean just not your taste.
Would you expect Preston to refuse your requests for his work if he thought you “couldn’t afford it” or if your ideas were for minimalistic carnations with some foliage. I think not would be the answer so please do not ask a designer to refuse work that he has been asked to provide , at a cost that has been mutually agreed in a venue that has been chosen by an Individual.
Please do not punish the rich by asking designers to decline their wishes.
I work in a town/area where the average price of a hand tied bouquet of flowers is £15 yes £15 my customers are always looking for designer arrangements/weddings within a budget, I welcome these requests as much as I would love one of Prestons client to call me and pay my rent for the next few years however I am a designer, I would never refuse work for status, taste or financial reasons and likewise neither is Preston.

P.S If you would like to be noticed for your views you should use a spell check.

Kimberly
May 24, 2011

Mr. Bailey,

paula
May 24, 2011

Preston – you are an industry. You have employees and associates who earn an income from your business. Suppliers of many products and services benefit from the activity of your business. If one were to breakdown the number of people earning their primary income from participation in one of your events, it would be revealed as far from “empty and soul less”.

From a business standpoint, I know that you are aware of many individuals and businesses that would be feeling “poor” if you did not continue to offer your service to those who can afford your service.

Most “rich and insecure” people know that when they spend their money, they are supporting many small businesses and self-employed individuals like yourself. It’s a win-win. Everyone is not expected to understand economics, but that does not make the reality of economics any less true.

I’ll go out on a limb by saying that the people that I have known with the means to “show off their wanton lifestyle” gave more to charitable efforts each year than most of us ever will be able to give in a lifetime.

Thank you for being an open and honest person that gives (in the true meaning of the word – as in FREELY) so much to your readers everyday, that ultimately makes for better business practices, which helps to improve our bottom line. In many case that bottom line makes or breaks what we call our “primary income”.

Jennifer
May 24, 2011

Rich and insecure? These two words, in the same sentence don’t cut it for me in the context of this statement. But to be fair, I’m sure there is a small percentage of clientele that have the intention to reinforce themselves through such activities. Does this mean that an Event Designer is taken to task over their ethics if they take on a particular brief.. um.. no thats preposterous.
Lets go on to explore the ‘desperate need to show off’ component of this statement. Preston, do you not design many events for charity? Would events that fall out of this category be an expression of not only affluence but generosity?
It is an interesting conversation but I think there is a degree of accountability that lies with the individual regarding their ‘lot’ in life.

Laura
May 24, 2011

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAY?

vanessa s
May 24, 2011

Everything isn’t for Everyone, If Poor and Confident’s taste differs Why spend the energy to follow someone thats not their cup of tea? The first thought that comes to my mind is Jealously and thats a shame unless that pressure pushes them to create their own buzz. Its sad but there are many people that feel If someone else has success or abundance they have less, like its a shortage. SMH sad.

Kim {Something Spectacular/Something Floral}
May 24, 2011

Every designer’s style is different, just like every client’s taste and budget is different. Congratulations Preston on knowing (and branding) your design style and for knowing (and marketing to) your niche’s market/audience — that’s what this business is all about. Every artist (floral or other) should get to know and become comfortable with their unique design style so they can effectively market to the audience looking to purchase that particular style.

EventGyrl
May 24, 2011

I disagree… I would challenge you to give an unlimited budget to 90% of planners/designers in the industry and they would not be able to do what you do Preston. What you have in abundance is vision and creativity.. those qualities can not be “bought” you either have them or you don’t.

I am a PB groupie and have been for years.. so my opinion may be a bit one-sided. I think what you do is decadent, but nothing short of art.

Kim Eibrink Jansen - Events of Noosa, Weddings of Noosa, Australia
May 24, 2011

Hi Preston, I would say that this person is extremely jealous of you and I would take it as a compliment. As long as you can wake up in the morning everyday and know that you do a good job and enjoy what you do, I dont think it really matters what anyone else says.You know, Preston, that your work is amazing, your clients are happy and you are inspirational to us in the industry. So comparing thousands of people who love you to one who shows obvious jealousy is no comparison. Onwards and Upwards I say – and feel sorry for those who obviously wake up in the morning sad and miserable (the poor things) Lots of Love from Australia xoxoxoxoxo

AKA
May 25, 2011

Preston… there are many different socio-economic levels of people in this world. And yes, the high class may be the minority. But there have to be businesses to cater to these peolple… and the customer gets what the customer wants, right? So, in no way should you feel shame of badly for having a beautiful, creative, innovitave, business that happens to cater to the “wealthy.” Thats just the way life is and the reality of certain people….. such is life… embrace it

Ellen Prague
May 25, 2011

Don’t be ridiculous . You are providing employment and excitement for many people….and even the disgustingly wealthy are entitled to celebrate happy occasions. You offer creative outlet to all your employees which in turn enriches their lives in ways other than monetary.

confidential
May 25, 2011

In the same argument, should Poor and Confident be upset with Bugatti for selling a $2,000,000 car or should she/he direct their frustrations towards the person buying the car?

In this case, Preston you are simply providing a service to a specific market. Your talents are in demand and once in demand cost significantly more.

We should not judge or decide how the wealthy decide to spend their money. It allows the rest of us to have a job and feed our families.

So……..what’s the problem again?

Yvonne
May 25, 2011

Well, the answers to both questions are I really have no problem with myself and I sleep very well at night, thank you for asking. As we all know, someone who is truly confident in him/herself doesn’t need to be mean to others. Yes, there are a lot of hardships everyday in all corners of the world, we can only do our best in our work and also try our best to help others… simple fact is even if Preston don’t create extravagant designs, someone else will, only not as good! So to poor and confident, if you find the works here so “empty and souless”, I encourage you to spend your time doing something more meaningful than criticising other’s way of life, just because you can’t have it doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

Gigi de Fernandez
May 25, 2011

Dear Preston,

Hello:)

Let me say first, that I think you demonstrate a lot of who you are by posting this “letter”. It shows honesty, transparency, and that you really care about giving some time of your day to answer and respond to your readers….. and to give advice. Specially when topics like these are brought to “the table”.

I am an Event Designer from Guatemala (my natal tongue is Spanish), a country that you may all know, is located in Central America and where you can see everything: from an incredible Natural landscapes and richness, (great for tourism or DestinationWeddings)…. to its people: friendly, kind, happy (Caribbean mood)….

What is my point? That I live in a Country where you can find a person that owns 2 Mercedes or BMW and lives in Mansions; to another one that may get stressed by thinking how to make money enought to end the month tranquil.

So I get to see everything. Couples that comes from outside Countries for having their so perfect-dreamed Destination Wedding to People that have “Over the Top” Weddings and also, people that are modest in their celebration. But one thing is constant: They want to give the best to their guests or to their son/daughter (groom/bride) as long as their budget allows them to.

What is our mission: To try to please our Clients by giving our best. Treat each one as a priority, as if they were “THE ONLY CLIENT FOR THE WHOLE YEAR”.

I am not defined by who’s Wedding I Design. Or for how much do I earn in a Year. I am defined by the work I give. By the dedication I take with my Client, by the way I treat my client. Plus: I have a life outside my work. So that defines me too (the way I am as a Mother, wife, daughter, friend,…member of a society….)

“Poor and Confident” said that your job is “empty and souless”. But honestly (and respectfully), I think she is confusing the result of your work with the Client wishes. -Not that I am saying that Clients may be empty or souless. No-

We must not judge other people by their looks. We must not “pack them all in the same envelope” and give for a fact that they are empty and souless. What do we know about them? What if they do great good and they dont need to be exposing that as they do when they throw big parties?

If I may, I will adress myself now to Dear “Poor and Confident”: It’s Preston’s Job to be a designer and to create. Do you know about his life before? Where he came from or what does Preston do on his free-time? I (myself, Gigi) don’t know. But I may know him a tiny-little-bit by his Blog. The way we write is like a window showing our personality for those who reads us. And I know that Preston is considerate, honest and a good person…. by his words. As some say, “Blogs reflects your personality & webpages acts as your business card”.

My conclusion…. (if I dont write that, I would go on and on… ) what defines us is what we do for others, what good do we make to society. What we can do by having the knowledge we have, the income we have, the culture we have…. etc.

There is nothing bad to have a business and it to be succesful. Its how we mix our values and principles with our work and make them get along and work together… so what we do for a living can define us as a person.

Thank you for reading me…
Have a good week

Gigi

Savannah (Pearls and Pages)
May 25, 2011

It’s so wonderful to see the large amount of responses to this post. You have so many fans who adore you, Preston, and find your work absolutely inspiring! As someone who doesn’t take criticism very well, kudos to you for putting this out there, opening up a string of conversation, and for trying to figure out how to tackle these thoughts. I should take the cue!

On the one hand I can see how over-the-top designs for deep-pocket clients can leave people thinking, ‘Pompous!’ But on the other hand, as someone commented here…Picasso-Wal-mart….it’s true that beautiful art and design, when it’s so beloved by so many and so grandiose, is going to be pricey and extravagant. It’s not your everyday run-of-the-mill kind of kitsch “art.” It’s custom! It comes down to supply and demand. And it’s the passion, the creative designs and hours upon hours at the drawing board that you put into each and every creation. For those who want a piece of that, no matter how simple or extravagant, if it’s for sale, it’s for them to have and enjoy, whatever the price tag.

This is a tough one, Preston, but I think you’re fans, and even those who follow you but don’t really find your work a pleasure to follow (why they’re following you?? That’s curious…) have offered a lot here. There’s two sides to every coin in every situation in life. It’s all about finding that right balance– a balance, for one instance, between celebrating your art and creativity and sharing it with clients in a high-end, over-the-top fashion because that’s what your design is (and we love it!!), and between the heart of the matter– the charitable contributions you do, the kind words and advice you share for small business start up owners like myself…simply opening one of your books can just brighten a day! That’s the priceless effect, Preston. Your work does more than “perpetuating wanton lifestyles.” True, it could very well do that…but it does so much more!

Looking forward to your response; and great support from all of your blog followers and fans. We love you, Preston– for your professionalism, your kindness, your openness, your charity, and your big-ass over-the-top AMAZING designs! ;0

xoxo from Berlin, Savannah

Events by Doyin
May 25, 2011

I can’t believe someone wrote this. I won’t be surprised if this person wishes he/she was in your shoes. You do a really great job and we all look up to you. You should pay this person no attention. Keep doing what you do. You are very artistic and creative. We can’t expect these rich people to give all their money to charity and not enjpy some of it by celebrating life. If we were in their shoes, we would do the same thing. Poor and Confident sounds more like Poor and Jealous.

Charity
May 25, 2011

In short, I think “poor and confident” is actually “jaded and jealous” since anytime a person has to make a point of saying they are confident it usually means something else.
Yes, your clients may spend a ton of money for your designs but that is what they want. I am sure if someone asked you to put together a small floral arrangement with daisies you could do that too, but let’s face it, so can any FTD florist.
Your designs are unique and intended to be as grand and there is no shame in using your talents and many years of experiences (both good and bad, richer and poorer) to do what you do best. Finally, there are always the naysayers ready to attack those who are successful and worked hard to get there so keep doing what you do best!!

kellie engelke
May 25, 2011

First thing that came to my mind was: we don’t see the world as it IS, we see the world as WE ARE. This may just be something for this person to ponder?

YOUR NAME
May 25, 2011

I agree with Heather.

If this person has been “following you for a while” the last thing they would garner from your posts is that you are empty and soulless. A person who can create an experience. as you do, has to have passion and an appreciation of everything around him.

The problem here is not with the rich, but with the insecure, jealous, and bitter person who wrote it.

Anonymous
May 25, 2011

Lmfao! This is crazy!
we all work hard (well, most of us do) to get to the top and once you get there, high expectations arise..
If the rich can afford the “Over the top” services that Prest provides then, why not?! They can afford it! No one wants ‘normal’…
Anonymous should just fall back and sit down!

Preston, keep doin what you’re doing.. I’m learning a lot from you!

Anonymous
May 25, 2011

Lmfao! This is crazy!
we all work hard (well, most of us do) to get to the top and once you get there, high expectations arise..
If the rich can afford the “Over the top” services that Prest provides then, why not?! They can afford it! No one wants ‘normal’…
Anonymous should just fall back and sit down!

Preston, keep doin what you’re doing.. I’m learning a lot from you!
Isaac L Mahlangu ,South Africa

Misa Tingle
May 25, 2011

I do not agree with this comment @ all obviously even planning does not interest you and you cannot appreciate this kind of art in rear form, get off of Preston’s dam blog, and go solve other issues in the world. Preston I look to you as the GODFATHER of event planning and always will you inspire me, keep being over the top, keep contributing to this world of event planning with you passion, vigor, and expertise. I love you

Sasha Souza
May 25, 2011

Preston, I had to chime in on this one. I also receive highly opinionated comments on my blog and sometimes rude phone calls from potential couples who are not a right fit for the services we provide.

So, here is what I tell people who ask me HOW I can justify spending other people’s money the way we do…because I have been slammed for it as well and my budgets are not nearly where your business has taken you.

1. Money is relative to what you have. If you have $25,000 in the bank, you’re not spending $10,000 on your wedding. If you have $2.5 million in the bank, spending $200,000 isn’t that hard to spend. If you have $100 million in the bank, spending $5 million isn’t a stretch. So, just because I provide a service that not all can afford doesn’t mean that my clients should not.

It’s their money and I’m not twisting their arms or opening their wallets for them. I’m not authorizing their credit cards. They have to do that themselves and value what I’m showing them. Without that value, they will never pay the money for the service or product.

2. I choose to use my time to give back to my industry and to couples through two charities where I sit on the board of directors. The SEARCH Foundation which helps people in our industry who are faced with catastrophic loss & illness where I am the Secretary & the Events Chair. I also give much of my time to Wish Upon a Wedding where we give couples small weddings for under 50 guests who are faced with terminal illness & life altering circumstance…here I sit as the National President. This is something that I have passion for and that I’m able to give something back to not only the industry but to individual brides. I know that I am using my skills to not only profit in my business but to provide return for others.

You have been blessed to be considered in the top few event designers in this wonderful industry. You have also carved out a niche for yourself that others aspire to be and with that comes scrutiny and judgement.

Unfortunately jealousy is an awful and ugly emotion and this comment is really just somebody who is feeling bad about themselves and wanting to rub it off on others. They do not know your heart. They do not know your personality. If they did, surely, that email would have never been sent.

I’m sure you will handle it with the utmost respect and dignity, just how you approach your own business.

Marcie Lynn Walker
May 25, 2011

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAY?

Felice Parker
May 25, 2011

Mr. Bailey
Thank you for posting this comment.
I believe that you are an inspiration to all and a true artist. Over the top is an understatement. What you do is inspire me to dream and use my imagination. You create and produce events that I only wish I could be a part of. You live with yourself because I believe in your that this is exactly what you are supposed to be doing. You live with yourself because you turn ideas into reality. You live with yourself because you are Preston Bailey, a true work in progress. Please don’t stop, because what you do keeps us all smiling. So thank you!

parv
May 26, 2011

I think the mere fact that this person made you stop and ponder the question speaks volumes of your integrity, professionalism and caring. We all need to escape to a world more beautiful than our daily routine and you provide us that luxury. The real empty and soleless are those who never find their God-given talent, who waste their lives being bitter and judgmental. How dull life would be without Preston Bailey to constantly raise the bar and inspire us to take bits and pieces of things God created in this world and rearrange them into an amazing display that will brighten someone’s day. Keep up the inspiration. We need you.

Elizabett
May 26, 2011

I strongly believe that Poor and Confident does not even begin to understand what it is that Preston does. Not just anyone can do what he does. It takes a lot of dedication, inspiration, imagination, caring, thoughtfullness and much much more. To be able to come up with kind of work Preston has to absorb himself and fully think in the person or event the job is for. So I believe this is far from being empty or souless, totally the contrary it takes a complete good soul to be able to do this kind of work.
In regards to the client, well, who are we to judge others? I sure wouldn’t won’t Poor and Confident overseeing any event of mine. Each person is an individual that has their own work, their own problems and so on and so on. We cannot judge our clients to be able to do our work. I really wish I had the type of clients Preston has because I just cannot imagine the things I would be able to do and that is why Preston is able to do what he does. Who in the world would be able to walk into a room that has been done by Preston and not be completly moved in aw and so many other feelings. Only a empty and souless person wouldn’t feel anything.

Liz
May 26, 2011

Dear Preston,

I have always loved your work and find it inspiring as a fine artist myself. With that said – just because I cannot afford one of these lavish affairs does not mean I cannot appreciate and be excited by what you create. I am not sure that “Poor and Confident” understands what it takes to pull off one of these events- I am sure you do not do it single handed. In such a poor economy with so many people out of work- These events provide employment for many hard working people. Imagine how many workers it takes to pull this off! I know quite a few former employees of this company- none of which has anything but good things to say and many times how much they learned from having worked with Preston-many of whom have gone out to open successful businesses of their own. If I ever reach such success in my life I will find it very easy to live with myself. To Poor & Confident- sometimes you need to look at the bigger picture in life- large companies such as these provide income for our fellow New Yorkers- something we must always be thankful for.

respectfully

Liz

Renata
May 27, 2011

Dear Preston,

Your imagination is larger than life. You inspire so many of us. I absolutely love your work and thank you for sharing your ideas. Don’t ever give up, we need a person like you. I already can’t wait to see your next pictures.

All the best
Renata

Michele
May 27, 2011

Initially, I understood this reaction, but think about it. Think about the number of people you employ to pull off an event. From flower growers in South America, to airlines, to inspectors, to delivery men, to those who make products that you use, to those who fix coolers, to the linen supplier, to those who make linens, to the linen mills, to the florists that assemble the creations…the list goes on and on and on. So when someone complains about a lavish event, I am the first to point this out.

Harvest
May 28, 2011

Do we attack Michelangelo for his outstanding and opulent work on the Sistine Chapel ?
..and before you attack my comment.. yes I do believe that Preston Bailey’s eye for detail and design ability does step into the same realm of stunning artistic representation.

If more people in the world were inspired to challenge themselves to refine their craft by seeing other peoples accomplishments instead of attacking their work, then the world would be a much more harmonious place.

In Australia we call it “Tall Poppy Syndrome” :-

Tall Poppy Syndrome
n (Austral) informal
a tendency to disparage any person who
has achieved great prominence or wealth

This way of thinking is an abomination to man kind and our ability to evolve.

Greetings Preston from a great admirer from Australia.

KC
May 28, 2011

I once worked on an event for a very rich mans daughter there were almost 3OO K in red roses what people didnt know was that this man was the type that would get out of his limo put on jeans and tennies and go feed the homeless not bragging to others about the good he was doing. If he wants to give his child a lavish affair let him. You never know the good that some rich people may do that outweights the one day of splurging

Bonnie
May 31, 2011

I am in the event industry and I was blessed to hear Preston speak at a NACE conference years ago! He is not only the American Dream from rags to riches, but an example to ALL on how hard work, determination and talent can take you where you want to go! As an industry professional for the past 18 years, I have worked with the best and the worst. Every client has a budget and every client has a dream. It doesn’t matter how much money you have it “your” dream that the planner is trying to create and design. It is the same as purchasing a new car. They all get you to the destination, it is what you can afford, and they style in which you want to arrive. During these hard economic times, planners have gotten hit very hard. People want to “do it themselves”. In the end, you can always tell who “did it themselves” A planner is a very important and critical piece to the puzzle. I am not a planner, but I value and respect the job they do. I am one of MANY vendors that they hire. As far as Preston is concerned, why should you care how much or little his clients are willing to spend if it is their HARD EARNED money and NOT YOURS! You should mind your own business and you should look at the art and genius behind these events! I am almost certain if you could hire Preston you would for your next event, or you wouldn’t be following his amazing work like the rest of us!

Kristen
May 31, 2011

Wow, you showed amazing strength and patience. What you do is amazing and this person is obviously jealous of both you and your clients. Just because someone is successful and has a larger budget does not make them soulless and insecure. It just means they have a bigger wallet to work from. I have done big budget events with budgets over $250,000 and low budget events at around $5,000. I don’t really differentiate between the two because both clients have hired me to work for them and execute their vision. I definitely do not agree with Poor and Confident (who I really don’t think is all that confident). We all provide a service to clients looking for the best they can afford. I don’t think there is any shame in large budget events if the client can afford it. Those large budget events provide jobs for a great deal of people and without them, many vendors would be out of business. The majority of high end clients not only spend money that creates jobs, but also are typically philanthropic (I worked for 14 years doing non-profit events). I don’t think there is anything to be ashamed of when producing an large budget event.

Nanushka
May 31, 2011

It is antropologically known that lush celebrations have been done since societies exist. Preston is a professional of making this happen and contributes to keep tradition. While some people will never be able to afford a work as amazing as his, there are many professionals and amazing people who work to preserve these social rituals and make them memorable. Poor and confident, please do some research on wedding antroplogy and other social rituals. You’ll learn a few things.

Anika
May 31, 2011

This person is angry, envious and judgmental. Their comment that they have been, “following you and your work for some time” establishes the fact of their interest.

The Bible tells us in Proverbs 18:16 that, “A man’s gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men” and yours truly has done so. In fact, your gift has allowed the gifts of others to be brouclght before great men.

People who talk about the beauty that artists create as frivolous have never paid attention to the meticulous details that God included in creation alone. He is truly The Artist, and there is no flower, bird, leaf or mountain ridge left with basic details and coloration. This level of excellence is what I aspire to everytime I begin to think about and design an event plan for my clients.

What you do is a blessing, Preston. I know this because, as you point out in your thoughtful response,your work brings blessings to others.

Sleep and live well. This person is simply unhappy. Even though their words are hurtful, do not allow them to steal the joy of being able to work within the gifts you have been given in a profession you love.

Thank you for the inspiration you share with so many.

Annmarie
May 31, 2011

I am absolutely shocked with that ridiculous question. Preston, I have been following your work for just under a decade. The work you do is over-the-top and full of magic. Without soul and empty? Are you kidding me? Work done in that calibur is filled with passion and a love for the work; this is evident in every piece I have ever seen created by your team.

I really feel that it’s uncalled for to criticise others based on how wealthy they may be and how large one’s budget may be. Everyone has their own taste whether or not it may be lavish. This would be the same as saying a “poor” person’s event taste lacks inspiration and creativity because of how simplistic it might very well be. The simple fact that you find it necessary to point out that you’re “poor” leads me to believe you really do have issues with it. Money does not make a person who they are and being this rude and insulting due to another person’s hard work, personal style, taste and success is very much done in poor taste and without any understanding of the events industry or clearly any knowledge of the individuals backgrounds.

Perhaps educate yourself in what it takes to run an event and the type of person one must be to actually survive the industry before making such ridiculous comments.

mrs_q
June 1, 2011

People who judge should investigate. ‘Poor and confident’, please don’t be so quick to shoot others down for being confident in their own spheres too. I disagree strongly that the work is soulless. Preston has taken his time to uplift and inspire others through his insightful blog, which I for one am grateful for.

Another poor and confident
June 2, 2011

I am from India, a third world country, with millions of people below the poverty line.

In my country, and many third world countries that I am familiar with, the poorest of the poor put up similar efforts, to share their love with their loved ones. A Celebration gives them a much needed break from the drudgery of their lives. They make do with collecting leaves, and flowers from the wild, (all free), and have a great feast (there are ways to be resourceful if you wish to be, and not spend a penny). The community effort to prep for the celebration creates long lasting bonds, and people just have a good time. Everyone looks out for one another.

The rich do the same, and the poor also feel no jealousy for them.

Celebrations are the backbone of society in my country, and events like these create jobs for millions of poor people. Jobs that they like to work in.

Tamara Smith (designstoimpress.com)
June 10, 2011

I think the writer of this foolishness is WANTONLY looking for ATTENTION …and we have all played right into it. This quote and the ensuing responses have been publicized everywhere in the industry.

Preston is certainly worthy of all the praise that people have heaped upon him in response…but let’s recognize an attention seeker when we see one…not give into his wish.

seo
January 31, 2012

Hey are using WordPress for your site platform? I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and create my own. Do you require any coding knowledge to make your own blog? Any help would be really appreciated!

thelma
March 21, 2012

Dear Preston:
We work in an empty world … full of opulence and power ..
In one of the most lucrative global industry: flowers
In my case I find it all a sense of life in the delicious and beautiful flowers that fill my life with hope and longing, which give a deeper meaning in each of my moments, what a customer wants to spend on flowers, it is matter which , no problem for me, is everyone is everyone with their abilities or limitations on life ….

PRESTON BAILEY

May 24, 2011

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DEAR PRESTON: HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF?

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