Dear Readers,
Thank you for all of your insightful and kind responses to the letter I posted last Tuesday; I was touched by your encouragement and heartfelt reaction. Your comments made it abundantly clear that most of you appreciate the work that designers and other artists create. Because that’s what we all are: artists. Designers, planners, bakers, photographers, DJ’s, and everyone else in the wedding and event planning industry are artists. We create beauty, and we make people happy.
I’ve thought long and hard about the questions Poor and Confident posed to me. I think what upsets me the most is that the letter was hurtful not only to me but also to all of my clients. Sometimes we forget that one negative comment can initiate a train wreck of hurt feelings and misunderstandings.
Dear Poor and Confident,
While I understand the issues you are attempting to address, I wish you could have phrased your words differently. Calling my work “empty and soulless” feels like a low blow, but I acknowledge that everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion.
However, your words were also hurtful to my clients. You appear to assume that throwing parties and weddings is selfish. I disagree. Regardless of how much money someone has and how lavish or not so lavish an event is, entertaining is a gift. My clients want to give the gift of a magical night and take care of their guests, and they come to me because they know I will make it happen.
I may not have a high school diploma but through hard work, determination and God’s blessing, I have found a place for the talents God did give me. And that place is right here in the wedding and event industry.
So to answer your question, I have absolutely no problem living very well with myself. Every day I wake up and do what I love. My job feels less like work and a whole lot more like play. And you know what’s even better? I help a lot of people feed their families. My team, my vendors and all of the wonderful crews we hire for each wedding and event, support their loved ones because my clients want to entertain their guests and I want to help them.
I hope that my answer has given you another perspective and a greater appreciation for the work that everyone in the wedding and event planning industry does.
Sincerely, PB
LATER TODAY: One of my wonderful clients read Poor and Confident’s letter and was not a bit happy at all. Please check back this afternoon to read her thoughts on this issue.
Check Out My Facebook Fan Page
PREVIOUS
George Bernard Shaw once said: “You see things and say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were and say, ‘Why not?’” That quote embodies how Preston Bailey approaches every event.
Jenni
May 31, 2011
A well written and classy response. Kudos to you, Preston. I don’t believe that I could have been so nice. The higher ground is where you are standing right now.
Kara Buntin
May 31, 2011
I didn’t see the original letter until now, but after reading it I see why it would be upsetting. I’ve had similar comments on the “wastefulness” of weddings and receptions, but they usually come from people who had a small wedding and are resentful about it. (at least the ones I know are like that!)
You can’t take someone’s opinion personally. As a wedding professional, I enjoy your blog because you’re honest about the business side of it, whch is something that not a lot of wedding pros are. In my blog I try to convey the truth about wedding planning for brides, and the business end of it for business owners. I get the same feeling from your blog, and I enjoy reading your perspective. I’d definitely put you on the short list of wedding professionals who I respect, just based on what I’ve seen of your work, and what I’ve read that you’ve written.
Nobody should have to justify spending thei own money, If someone who is jealous wants to call it “soulless” that’s more reflective on them than on you or your clients. I might wish that I had more money to spend on certain things, but so what? It doesn’t mean that people who do have a larger budget can’t spend their own money the way that they want, and it doesn’t make them evil to do so. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but when it starts being a judgment they should take a step back and decide whether that opinion reflects a truth, or whether it’s more about their own prejudices.
Nic
May 31, 2011
I am just catching up on your blogs from last week. I am so sorry that this type of negative energy was projected on to you and to all of us. Your work is far from empty and soul-less. On the contrary, it is filled with love and thoughtful care. Just because someone happens to be able to afford the cost of implementing their vision does not mean that they are shallow and insecure. People with money are the same as people without money. Poor & Confident displayed bitter, misdirected hostility and should realize that what you put out to the universe is what you get back. There is never a need to be hateful and hurtful to others nor to pass judgment on people because they have money. The words written by Poor & Confident display a poverty mindset.
Andrea Scatuccio
May 31, 2011
Preston, many of us cherish your ‘souful’ designs, patiently awaiting the unveiling of every new morsel of your magnificent designs. Your creations give all of us in the industry a glimpse of what dreams are truly made of. Stand tall, stand proud and continue to work your magic. We love it, and I for one, could not continue to dream without you.
Simone Robinson Ross
May 31, 2011
I am completely baffled at this entire exchange. First of all if those who work in the Events industry are souless, then so are many other industries. Jewelry. Food, car, music, Everyone has a passion or a calling to either create a product or service to help others. What gives anyone the right to belittle that? I am sure the original writer did not deserve the respect and tact they were given in your response.
Candy
May 31, 2011
Very eloquently written Preston! Like you, I would have also needed to take a moment before responding to such an insensative and heartless comment. As you have stated, designing events is truly a gift from God. It is a blessing to have the patience and wisdom to carry out somebody elses vision. Caring enough to see another persons “special day” turn out to be everything they had hoped for takes a person who’s heart is overflowing with love not someone who is “empty and souless”.
Round of applause for communicating your response to “Poor and Confident” beautifully and with power. I like your swagger
Gina Lett
May 31, 2011
Preston,
Your letter was classy and very eloquent. It is sad to see that there are so many negative people aka “haters” in the industry. But that is okay, because you will always shine through your work and your words!
saundra, get real sales coach
May 31, 2011
Love the directness and bluntness you had by posting this and addressing it publicly.
Alexandra Jusino
May 31, 2011
Great Answer!
dews of keziah
May 31, 2011
Wow! I have to say this Sir PB, I wouldn’t have said what you wrote any better. I love how you took your time to sit down and compose such a MATURE response. What you have just done has shown me that meekness, patience, humility are all part of wisdom building. That is what you have displayed in your response. Wisdom. I’m glad I chose you as my mentor in events. God bless you real good sir, and exceedingly so. Amen.
Brenda
May 31, 2011
I absolutely agree with your response. People who comment negatively to someone’s work have a deep underlying issue (which you will never know). However, words are hurtful. The only thing you can do is address the issue, let it go, and move on.
I have admired your work for years now, and most people would be honored to have You Preston as their event planner/designer.
Heather van Breda
May 31, 2011
As we would expect from you, Preston, a very gracious and elegant response to a misguided and hurtful jab.
Karry
May 31, 2011
It is so true that one negative comment can bring on so many hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Your response was so well stated that I hope “Poor and Confident” has a better understanding of the experience you offer you clients and how you run your business. Thank you, Preston for sharing this with us.
Lauren @ ELD
May 31, 2011
Bravo! Anyone who has ever worked within the wedding & event industry should know that it is by no means “soulless”- especially the work that you do Preston!
We’re creating things so people can have fun! What could be better than that?!
Kristen
May 31, 2011
Bravo! Well said.
YOUR NAME
May 31, 2011
Bravo to you Preston. After all you still humble, and your response is very classy……..
POSTMISTRESS
May 31, 2011
What a gracious and well-written response to a narrow-minded, cynical stream of bile. Nicely handled, Preston. X
Saif al Ghandi
May 31, 2011
Dear Preston
People should look at the bigger picture here , I love the part of your answer Where you said ” I help a lot of people feed their families ” very true and people like Poor and Confident should start thinking of how things work . That one dollar in a millionaire’s pocket was in a poor’s pocket once and vise versa , simply it’s a chain reaction. If have the money and hold tight to it , someone else will feel the pain
Regards
From Dubai
Saif
nikita
May 31, 2011
Maestro!
Just a small comment:
We all know that Leonardo was great artist,carried out research in fields ranging from architecture and civil engineering to astronomy to anatomy …
BUT,not to many know that his “main job”was The Event Designer!
ANSWERED!
Le'Nervia Williams
May 31, 2011
Preston, Kudos to you for your response. You are a true professional. I have found that when people are so unhappy with their lives, they can only find pleasure in making everyone else miserable. We are all connected in the this world. With all of the negative things that happens in life, we are all blessed to simply be alive. The fact that your clients have another opportunity to spend time with those closest to them, is wonderful. Witnessing the joy of love, kindness and fellowship that comes with every event, is priceless. Continue your work, your passion.
Le’Nervia, Celebrate with Us! Event Planning
Brenna Taylor
June 1, 2011
Absolutely love youe response! Thanks for taking the high road! K.I.M (keep it movin!)
Tahira
June 1, 2011
Preston, one of the things I like best about your blog is its honesty as you speak from the heart and you don’t shy away from any issues. There is nobody who has made the lifestyle choice that events is that is empty and soulless. Every time we work on an event we give up a little piece of ourselves, digging deep to find what is going to be the right fit, feel and energy for this particular event. It is never about thoughtlessly throwing some things together and hoping it works it – it is about meticulously planning every single detail so that each and every event is something the clients walk into and see their vision, their hopes for sharing a special time with people important to them, have been brought to fruition. We are lucky to play every day and create and I thank you for sharing your perspective. Tell your client “thank you for your support, it means everything to me”.
Rosalba (Rose's Flowers & Gifts)
June 1, 2011
I think your response was very calm, clear and makes a very good point
“I have found a place for the talents God did give me. And that place is right here in the wedding and event industry.”
I really try and see everyone’s point of view, I truly believe people are permitted their thoughts, but I think “Poor and Confident” was rude and judgemental in their letter-which I cannot accept.
People blessed to have money (and I think that hard work AND blessings=money) should not be judged because their bank accounts read differently from other peoples. I feel they need to give of their time, talents and/or money to those that are in need but what they do with the rest of their money is their business….and if nothing else it keeps people employed and the economy a boost (someone is paying those caterers, floral designers, venues, etc and they in turn pay their workers) a pretty good .
This must have been difficult to acknowledge in such a public forum Preston, and I thank you for taking the step:)
Ebony
June 3, 2011
PRESTON BAILEY…. you are a class act as I have written you before!
“I may not have a high school diploma but through hard work, determination and God’s blessing, I have found a place for the talents God did give me. And that place is right here in the wedding and event industry.” and let the church say AMEN!
Admiration and love ALWAYS,
Ebony
Savannah (Pearls and Pages)
June 3, 2011
Brilliantly and meticulously composed, Preston.
There are always two sides to every coin and while it’s important to look at both sides and contemplate them, there’s always a kind way to approach a disagreement or differing opinion. Sour attitudes should be treated with sugary responses– kindness and honesty always top.
Great work, Preston! Fab answer and I couldn’t agree more. Your business is another, albeit important, screw in the turning wheel of the economy (we can always use more jobs and you contribute to that need!)– you provide jobs and help feed families, AND you encourage artistic flair and abilities and actually reward creative talents with pay (starving artists shouldn’t be starving
God Bless and Take Care!
Much Love, Savannah