If you’re in the wedding and event business, you’ve likely had a few difficult clients. More often than not, you’ll connect with your clients in a deep and profound way. Occasionally, though, you’ll find yourself with a client who seems impossible to please.
I once did a job that was so frustrating, it made me question whether or not I wanted to continue designing. Because the thing is, even though most people only think about the gorgeous final project, the real work of this business is all of the schlepping and planning in the months and weeks leading up to the big day.
For today’s reminder, I want to remind us all how to stay inspired. We need to find ways to let go of the bad stuff, remain focused on the job at hand and keep moving forward.
1. After that horrible job, I went through a phrase of telling all of my friends and family about what had happened. I loved playing the victim. I repeated over and over again how I had been done wrong. But you know what? All I was doing was keeping the drama alive. I was only making it worse for myself. Not to mention everyone around me who was tired of hearing about my drama!
Now, when something bad happens to me in this business, I write it down, and then I let it go.
2. I’ve also made a habit of asking myself a very simple question every time something unpleasant happens. What can I take away from this experience? I promise you really can find something positive in every situation. Maybe it’s a little thing: do you need to reassess how you manage your clients’ expectations? That seems small, but it can make a big difference!
3. Always remember that it takes two to tango. Make a list of the things you could have done differently. And yes, it’s perfectly acceptable if one thing you could have done differently is followed your gut and NOT accepted a job with a client you suspected was going to be a challenge.
I firmly believe that replaying an unfortunate incident over and over in your head will only harm you in the long run. Not only is it demoralizing, but it can distract you from your work. The quicker you learn to let go, the quicker you can get back to doing your best work. After all, you’re an artist! You need to be keep your mind free of negative energy.
Readers, do you think you have the courage to turn down a job because your gut is telling you something is off? What’s your strategy for letting go of bad experiences? Please share.
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George Bernard Shaw once said: “You see things and say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were and say, ‘Why not?’” That quote embodies how Preston Bailey approaches every event.
Blair deLaubenfels
June 22, 2011
Great post! Being able to re-energize, to re-frame, and to move-on to what’s is yours to do today is a critical trait for successful leaders and entrepreneurs.
Lush Floral
June 22, 2011
I love everything you have to say here about letting go of bad experiences. I had a particularly bad client/experience a couple of years ago, and even though I felt I had gone above (WAY above) and beyond for her, she was unhappy (and even wrote me a bad Yelp review). I lost a lot of sleep over it, I fretted and caused myself undue stress. Ultimately, I let it go. I had done what I thought was right in an attempt to “make it up” to her after the job, and then there was nothing more I could do. Even though her event was gorgeous and she got more than what she paid for, some simple mistakes were made, and she chose to focus on those rather than the overall picture. At any rate. I decided to admit I had done some things wrong, and gave myself permission to stop feeling bad about it (I am a perfectionist). I also took some of the things she said in her review to heart and decided this would be a learning experience and that I would focus on some of her criticisms as a way to improve my business in the future. I asked myself what systems I could put in place to avoid another client feeling this way again? Ultimately I took what I needed from the experience and let myself off the hook for something I could not go back in time and fix. We can only look forward, right?
Michael S. Wade
June 22, 2011
I had a client 2 years ago that refused to let me do photos of the two of them after the ceremony. I explained that they would want these later but they were still intent on drinking and not doing pictures. After all was said and done I was browsing some other local photographers sites and guess who showed up? This couple had hired another photographer, dressed up again just like their wedding day and had photos made. They even said that their wedding photographer wouldn’t do it for them. I was so furious I was breathing fire! But, I didn’t do one thing because the more you worry about it the worse it gets. And never get into a war of words online. Be the pro and let them do as they please. If a future client mentions it just tell the truth.
Ally
June 22, 2011
You are preaching to the choir! Every bad experience is a chance to learn something new and grow better because of it!
lindsey
June 22, 2011
i haven’t yet, but hope i will in the future- this one has been a doozy!
Amazed
June 22, 2011
I agree one hundred percent with your post. It is so very important in business to weigh the situation, refocus and redirect, if necessary. When, in any investment, time has been put forth, it is very important to weigh each business proposition prior to making a decision, especially if you really love what you do. As you’ve shared, not everyone will agree with or take a liking unto your work, but it is so very important to understand that if you love what you do and have put forth your greatest effort t into creating something for a client, you can still walk away knowing that you have done your best and feel exceptionally good about it. Like you’ve shared, too, you are an artist and, truly as an observer, your cability and artistry show in everything you have displayed. Not all will agree with what we do, but as long as the effort, excellence and best foot forward is what we’ve brought in, we can always feel good about what we’ve done is we need to redirect for any reason. Just so you know, you’re work is a work of excellence.
Annapa
June 22, 2011
I think that it is true if you constantly replay a bad experience it will stop you going forward.
I am loving your blogs. I am finding it hard in London as it seems my ideas are too out there, yet I look at the creativity from yourself and others in America and it lifts my spirits as I realise there are others like me and my business partner.
Thank you so much for restoring our faith.
ps. Great to see you on How’d you get so Rich (I was so proud)
Fida Viantymala Sakdin
June 22, 2011
I totally agree with u Mr. Bailey! I’ve had a bad business experience but I’ve learned a lot from the incident and right now I can be proud of myself of what and where I am today! It is true that we need to talk and share with people around us especially family and close friends and slowly you’ll let go and will be focused on what you are doing. So far, I haven’t turn down any jobs yet but almost! I agree too that sometimes your gut’s feeling is true! I guess most of the time! All the best to all of us!
Hazel {Blu Bungalow}
June 22, 2011
Thank you so much for this post! It was like you read my mind. It’s not worth the angst and heartache to have to deal with a client who carries negative vibes. While they may be your client, it is a business relationship built on working together. How can you truly provide your best service to your clients if your heart is not in it?
Ali
June 23, 2011
Very great post Preston! Thank you for sharing! I think I will do a little writing tomorrow
Chris
June 23, 2011
I love your work and your blog!!! I’m a fashion bridal designer, and what i learned after just two no wonderful brides, its that i have to have this little intuition and click with every single lady that wants i made her bridal dress, if that click doesn’t happen, i just say that i have that month ocuppied or something, because that bride maybe will be a problem haha!!!
Pam Archer
June 23, 2011
Last year was terrible for me. It seemed that I had more bad experiences than good; mostly to do with brides not paying. I was very discouraged, to the point that I was ready to shut down. I’m glad that I didn’t, because this year is amazing, and I’m already excited about a huge wedding in June, 2012 that we booked last week.
I agree..forget the negative and move on, learning from each experience.
Tanya Malott
June 23, 2011
Another great post. (you are endless!) I have been through all of these experiences, and yes, I have learned to pass on jobs that don’t feel right. I find the letting go part has become easier over time and with experience. I still have moments when I want to give up wedding photography completely because of one difficult client/experience. But then another one comes along who renews my faith. What does this teach me? That it is not the client I should be focused on, but rather myself….I need to know that there will be ups and downs, and that my own feelings about them are my own, and I should not be controlled by them….best book on this topic: The Diamond Cutter.
Michelle Loretta - Sage Wedding Pros
June 29, 2011
This is such a great reminder Preston! That negative energy just brings more negative energy… It impacts the opinions of those who refer business to us and the perspective of potential clients. No one wants to work with a complainer. Your tip on writing it down and letting it go is a good one. I also encourage wedding pros to vent privately to one friend and NOT on social media or at networking events.
Louise - Bow Occasions
July 20, 2011
I have found this post extremely helpful. Having been in business for pretty much a year to the day, I have recently had a bad experience with a client after the event. It was completely disheartening and I was ready to close down the company however, after a good nights sleep and after talking to others in the industry I realised that I am not alone and that I can only take this experience, learn from it and come out of it stronger.
Bulent Oak
April 23, 2012
If you love what you do, then these sort of issues are never an issue, but if you do it just for the sake of money than like anything else everything is going to be an issue, when a client dont pay me for my work its ok ill just move on, i have gained from that so next time i dont give credits, this is business you get left out of pocket this is the reality, but in reality do you realy love what you do? if so then there is no problem at all, i love what i do as a web designer, i love creativity so who can stop me from doing what i love? No money and no man can. It is very important to understand that going in to business world is not like going on holiday, arm yourself, prepair for that world you will be just fine. One little advice would be dont give to much credit and dont make friends with your customers, this two rules you stick by will not let you down.
Aynur Khan
April 23, 2012
Thank you for a great read preston, i love your advice, @Bulent Oak i totaly agree with you on that, when i become too friendly with my customer, they all for some reason want to rip me off, so i decided to not be friends with my clients, strictly business.
James W. Walshner
April 23, 2012
keep them coming preston nice advice
Lisa D. Cuntez
April 23, 2012
i will turn them down, dont give a damn customers are not always right, i am right
Londrali Lahmacuncu
May 15, 2012
What can i say, preston has covered it all nicely, i love your points preston, when will you start lecturing, you should you know.
MINIME SITES
May 15, 2012
there is no good and bad business there is just good and bad customers simple, learn how to point the bad ones from miles away.