Dear Preston,
How do you think the legalization of gay marriage will impact the wedding industry?
Sincerely,
Curious
Dear Curious,
I believe the legalization of gay marriage here in New York is a great victory for human rights and a great victory for the wedding industry. However, legal gay marriage shouldn’t change anything in the industry; those of us in the wedding and event planning business have always helped folks celebrate their love and commitment. It doesn’t matter whether we do that for a man and a woman, two men or two women. All marriage is about committing to love, and love is universal.
I think gay marriage is going to be a wonderful thing for the wedding and event planning industry in New York. But I also recognize that there are always hiccups and things that need to be worked out when it comes to the logistics of weddings. For instance, traditionally, the bride’s parents pay for the wedding, but who will pay for gay weddings? Perhaps both sets of parents will split the bill. Of course, it has become increasingly common for couples to pay for their own wedding, so maybe gay couples will do the same.
No matter what, I know that I will treat gay couples just like I treat all of my other clients: my goal will be to give them the most dramatic and over-the-top event that their hearts’ desire.
I’ve done thousands of weddings, but, on a personal note, it has always bothered me that my partner, Theo Bleckmann, and I couldn’t take our marriage vows in our home state of New York.
That didn’t stop us from getting engaged five years ago on the beautiful island of Santorini in Greece, and, for awhile, we were happy enough just being engaged. But then gay marriage was legalized in Connecticut, and my dear friend Joan Rivers offered to host our wedding at her lovely home there. We didn’t take her up on her offer, but I am so grateful to Joan for her generosity and for always being there for me. At last, however, we can marry in New York, and we’ve started planning our wedding!
-PB
Dear Readers, how do you feel about gay marriage? Have you done any gay marriages? Would you do a gay wedding even if you don’t believe in gay marriage? Please share your thoughts in the comments.
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George Bernard Shaw once said: “You see things and say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were and say, ‘Why not?’” That quote embodies how Preston Bailey approaches every event.
Nicky
July 5, 2011
Gay marriage has never been an issue for me, we’ve even come out with a line of gay invitations we will be launching soon, I cannot wait to get them out there! I think it will only expand our markets so I think it’s a great thing:)
Romantic Travel Belize
July 5, 2011
Two weeks ago I organized and oversaw the First Gay Marriage on a Maya Ruin here in Belize. A Mayan Shaman, who is the great-granddaughter of the former Leader of the Maya world here in Belize, presided over the event. It was a stunning, spiritual, and inspiring, also one of the proudest things i’ve done.
Although gay marriage hasnt been legalized all over the world, i adore the fact that an Ancient Maya Ceremony somehow totally trumps the whole thing. It’s a great way to say “pppllllrrrbbbttttt” to those that think they have a right to tell people who and how to love.
CanNOT wait to do more of these events, and i cannot wait to see how the legalization process unfolds here in Belize.
Many hugs and love to everyone!
Amber
July 5, 2011
Even though I’m not gay myself, I have a lot of close gay friends and I want all of them to be happy. Despite the general thought against homosexuality and same-sex marriage in the Christian faith, I’m still a supporter of gay rights and the human right to marry who they love, and being able to have the protection and other legal benefits for their families in case anything were to happen. When I become a planner I’ll definitely plan a gay wedding– after all, all I’d be doing is helping them throw a huge celebration, I feel that nothing that I’d be personally doing would conflict with my faith.
I personally can’t imagine there being any sort of real change to the wedding industry, other than there being a huge surge in the numbers of potential clients. Some of my friends thinks a lot of weddings will be flamboyant and over-the-top, but there is just as much variety in the gay community in terms of personality, interests, faith, etc as the straight couples in the world. But overall I’m excited to see what signature celebrations will pop up in the near future. (When you throw your wedding, I’m expecting a big book dedicated to it, just saying~)
Patti
July 5, 2011
I believe the legalization of gay marriage will only raise the bar for fabulous weddings. I think event planners will be able to partner with their clients to give the most fantastic parties in their portfolio!
Way to go New York! Congratulations to Preston and Theo!
Mark Moore
July 5, 2011
I can’t wait to do my first gay wedding….I would love to spread the word, that it’s also legal to get married here in South Africa if you are gay! – So….any one want to get married in the Kruger National Park…give me a call!
MARK MOORE – Make Your Mark Events
Lauren Crown
July 5, 2011
Love is love. That is all that I see.
On a side note~I am sooooo happy for you and Theo! I cried when I read that you 2 could get married now! That is beautiful and perfect! All the love!
Bernadette
July 5, 2011
Gay wedding are amazing – I’ve planned hundreds! Congratulations to you and Theo!
Gay weddings will have a significant impact on the wedding industry. Wedding professionals will have to adapt their contracts, contract forms and marketing materials to be inclusive of this new clientele.
Wedding planners, venues, photographers and musicians will have to take note of gay wedding traditions. For example, it’s become traditional for same-sex brides and grooms to enter the ceremony space together holding hands or enter down two aisles or come in from two different directions.
Gay weddings are different – they have a different energy and a different spirit. Because gay weddings are so “new” and it’s perfectly legal to discriminate against couples in most states, that’s a fear of many same-sex couples. Discrimination is alive and well so the wedding industry will have to adapt and work extra hard to make sure these couples feel welcome and included.
Kristen
July 5, 2011
Congratulations! I hope that our country will see that equal rights are for everyone and that marriage is about love and commitment no matter who you marry.
Visual Vamp
July 5, 2011
Great post Preston!
I did one of the first gay weddings in New York in the late 1980′s at Wave Hill. The “Vows” section of the Times wrote about it, and maybe even Marcy Blum was the planner. It’s been a long time! I would love to do another one – maybe yours?
xo xo
Kathy from The Party Place
July 5, 2011
Dear Preston: WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR YOUR WEDDING??? I’m dying to know!
Janny
July 7, 2011
I remember reading about you lamenting over the fact yourself and Theo could not marry in New York and now I read you are planning your own wedding! It brought tears to my eyes and I am over-thrilled for the both of you. I would love to be a fly on the wall at your wedding. FAB-U-LOUS!
As far as gay marriages, I do not feel there will be any impact to the industry. I think it will only add to a busy wedding season for all planners and vendors.
Congratulations to yourself and Theo!
th.eventspecialist
July 8, 2011
I live in Toronto, where it’s has been legal for same-sex marriages for a while.
I did a wedding last summer of 2 fabulous gentlemen, that by far is my fave wedding I’ve done to date.
D and J’s story of triumph (J’s entire family disowned him when he came out, so it was just close friends there to support him) and love (D’s father officiated the ceremony) to me defined what weddings are supposed to be about. D had everyone in tears by reminding us all that they take the vows and the ability to even have a wedding very seriously.
Thank goodness for waterproof mascara.
Martine
July 16, 2011
Preston! You’re finally planning your own wedding!!! How wonderful for you and your partner! I cannot wait to see the photos. Best wishes and lots of love, peace, and blessings…
Martine
norah
October 12, 2011
LOVE = MAN + WOMAN! No matter what you do, you can never change GOD’S destiny and YOURS is about to CHANGE.