WEDDING DOUBTS: TRUSTING YOUR FRIENDS OPINIONS MORE THAN YOUR OWN

Preston Bailey on Intuition and Trusting Your Gut

(Image via inspired type)

It’s often easier to focus on what went wrong than what went right. My dear friend Joan Rivers once told me that what kept her going for many years was that at the end of each day, she made a list of all her blessings. She never made a list of everything that went wrong.

I love this idea, and I make my own list every night. But I also think it’s important to acknowledge when something goes wrong and think about how things might have gone differently. For instance, I was blessed with a wonderful client who was excited about my work. But then an issue came up, and we ended up in a tough spot:

Client: Oh my god, Preston! Everything is beautiful. Can I take a picture to show my friends?

Me: Of course! Please, go right ahead.

But then the next day she called me with some bad news…

Client: Preston, I showed your design to a few of my friends, and I think I want to go in a completely different direction.

Me: Okay, but what made you change your mind?

Client: Well, it might be a little much. My friends think it’s too much.

In my mind I was thinking, “You should tell your friends it’s not their wedding!” But I held my tongue and instead said:

Me: Why don’t you come back to my office, and we’ll give this another go. However, please understand that I’ll have to charge you for a second presentation.

To make a long story short, my dear client hit the roof. She didn’t think that I should charge her for another presentation, but I thought my request was completely within reason. Eventually, we worked it out.

But, Dear Readers, I’m curious. What would you have done in my shoes? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

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  • http://YOURWEBSITE Ana

    I agree that you have to charge for a second presentation. Perhaps its a good idea to add this to your contract for starters and let them know in case this happens again. Poor client, she’s probably just very insecure

  • http://YOURWEBSITE Danial

    I would have told her that it isn’t her friend’s wedding it’s hers. If she is happy with it then we should go ahead and do it, however if she agrees with her friends then it would be best to change it. Sometimes all those type of people need is to know there is someone in their corner. Someone who agrees with her point of view. If she still wanted it changed then of course she can have a different wedding but sounds like her friends were jealous, only time in my experience when someone tells you that it’s “too much” for a wedding.

  • https://www.google.com/profiles/116275963889242848922 Rebecca Lang

    I agree to charge for a second presentation. It took work, time, and effort for the first presentation. For someone else, that has never sat down with you and express their desires for a wedding, to express their opinion to the point of the bride changing their mind is rude and disrespectful. I also agree with Ana and add that to the contract for a second presentation. Her friends should be supportive not opinionated.

  • http://YOURWEBSITE Fayron

    I whole hardly agree with you Preston and all others that have given a comment on your behalf. I would have charged for a second presentation. I have found that even when you let people take pictures or you send a picture of what you have designed, they will in turn get someone else to do the job even at a lower cost. Is this world real or not.:):) Don’t get discourage! Continue being who you are. I love what I do.

  • http://www.asianfusionweddings.com Asian Fusion Weddings by Wedding by Wendy

    Absolutely charge to the 2nd presentation. After all, staff time, materials and supplies need to be paid for. It’s funny how some clients feel a sense of “entitlement” and have a perception that certain things should be “free”.

    I’m not sure why our profession seems to be more vulnerable then say a surgeon, lawyer or dentist though.

  • http://www.pefloralanddesign.com kellie engelke

    Enlightening clients and putting boundries in place to teach them to respect your creativity as a viable ‘product’ can sometimes be uneasy. For example if you go shopping with those same friends and they tell you they like both the dresses that you tried on, do you take both dresses but only pay for one? Not if your honest and respectable….. you understand & appreciate what went into making that dress. Not sure if a good analogy but there you have it..

  • http://YOURWEBSITE Diana

    Preston you mentioned that “eventually you worked it out”. I’m curious, did she end up paying you for the 2nd consultation?