Monthly Archives: January 2012

Dear Preston: My Former Boss Is Spreading Lies About Me

January 31, 2012

Dear Preston,

I am in a horrible situation and don’t know what to do. I am begging you for your wisdom and advice!

I was employed by a wedding planner four years ago, and I realized this was my dream job. I was only taken on for maternity cover and then dismissed as the company wasn’t expanding and couldn’t afford to keep me on. I left on good terms with my former boss — or so I thought.

I had a couple of other jobs at the time as I needed to support my kids (I am a single mum), but all the time I dreamed of having my own wedding planning business. I spent so many nights remembering how happy my hard work made my former brides and how elated I was to be doing that as my job.

So, two years ago I decided that I couldn’t deny myself this dream; I took the plunge and set up my own planning business. It’s been a long road and still is, but I am thrilled to bits at the way it’s going. All of my clients — past and present — have been so happy. I cannot express how good my job makes me feel and how happy my brides are.

Recently, I discovered that my former boss has been contacting all the vendors and suppliers in our area saying that I am stalking her, stealing her clients, etc… This could not be further from the truth. Her business practice leaves a lot to be desired, but I wouldn’t dream of telling the world how she works. I have morals and values.

What do I do? Please help me!

Thank you,
A Sad (but on the way to being a successful) Planner

Dear Planner,

I love your story. Not everyone understands that once you get the planning and event bug, it’s not easy to let go.

My advice to you is to do nothing.

I once had a manager who I had to let go, because he was very abusive not only to my employees but also to my vendors. He proceeded to bad mouth me and my company every single chance he got. I was hurt, and, on many occasions, I thought about calling him out on his behavior. But I didn’t. Most of the folks he spoke to knew me as well, and they didn’t believe his lies. Eventually, it blew over.

You’re not guilty of any of the things your former boss is accusing you. Better still, your brides are happy, and you are happy. This is all that matters. It takes a lot of energy to get involved with hearsay nonsense: why bother? Your former boss will lose steam, and this will blow over.

I want to add, though, that it sounds a bit like you still carry some contempt for your former boss. I understand. I’d feel the same way. But please work on letting go. You’re only hurting yourself. Follow your dreams, and be the best planner you know how to be.

Dear Readers, has someone in your industry every badmouthed you and your work? How did you handle the situation? Please share.

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You Are Your Greatest Asset

January 30, 2012

(Image via Susan Savage)

“Step outside the box.”

I hear this expression over and over again from many of my colleagues. And it always makes me a little nervous. It feels forced — as if we have to make an effort to be different; we don’t. Let your own individual uniqueness express itself naturally.

I grew up very poor in Panama, and I was forever captivated by all the beautiful things around me that I could not have. This gave me a keen eye for beauty, and this early appreciation has turned out to be a significant part of my work today. Your own life experience is always your greatest asset. Don’t work against it; just be who you are.

And forget about trends! Want to be different? Look within. You’ll be amazed at the many hidden treasures you’re storing.

Dear Readers, what part of your history has helped define your craft and your business?

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Friendly Friday: Commit to Success

January 27, 2012

(Image via Sacred Circle)

Every Friday I feature a reader comment from earlier in the week. Sometimes, I’ll publish a beautiful comment that really resonated with me. Other times, I’ll publish a comment from a reader who disagrees with me but whose insight has made me consider something in a new way. And some weeks, I’ll just publish a fun — maybe even a little silly — comment that gave me a good laugh.

Today’s comment comes from Corrine O’Neill, who responded to Monday’s column about the art of being a business person and an artist.” Here’s what Corrine had to say:

Hi, Preston.

To expand on my tweet, I do not consider myself an artist or a designer even though I design for a living. I consider myself a business person.

I see Buds and Blooms – Elegant Accoutrements as a business. My role within the company is so much more than “artist.” If I just created all day, I wouldn’t have a job. I have no safety net nor any other options, so I am keenly aware that every decision made needs to benefit the business.

That’s not to say that I do not enjoy the design work (I do) or that I produce anything less than high quality product. It’s just to say that my function is that of person making a living.

I don’t see my (small but growing) business any differently than a larger bridal or fashion design house. When you’re an independent “artist” people want to negotiate and managing expectations is difficult.

Framing myself as a business person has allowed me to unapologetically say, “These select (200 + designs) are what I produce, and these are the prices.” I also don’t have to manage expectations (which distract from the big picture, my business), and I don’t have to negotiate.

Obviously, this approach won’t work for many people, but it works for me. This perspective has allowed me to grow my business and has kept me grounded.

Just my two cents,
Corrine

I admire Corrine’s commitment to her business and her success, and I love that she values her work and her time. All of us — whether we consider ourselves first and foremost artists or business owners — should put as much conviction and resolve into our work as Corrine.

Dear Readers, do you agree with Corrine? Do you consider yourself a business person first and an artist second? Does it matter?

Happy Friday, folks! Have a wonderful weekend.

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Random Acts of Professional Kindness

January 26, 2012

(Image via Life on the Home Front)

This month has flown by, and it’s hard to believe it’s almost February — I’m still writing “2011″ instead of “2012″ on my checks!

I don’t tend to make lots of big New Year’s resolutions, but these last few weeks I’ve been thinking quite a bit about what I want 2012 to look and feel like for me and my business. I’ve found myself turning again and again to this blog and to you, my readers; some of my best thinking comes after reading your comments here.

Our recent discussion about trusting in your creative ability and learning how to know your work is good has given me an idea, and I’m really excited about it:

This year, I want ALL of us — no matter where we are in our careers — to reach out to someone else in the business. Every one of us has some kernel of wisdom to share. And the more you share, the more wisdom you’ll reap in return.

Even if you’ve only been in business a year, find someone in your community who’s only been in business a month or someone who hasn’t even opened their business yet but is thinking about it and feeling a little overwhelmed. Offer one piece of advice or an encouraging word. Think about what you wish someone had told you at an earlier point in your career — then go find someone who needs that information right now.

I know all of us are incredibly busy, but we all have time to offer at least one tip every month to a peer. That’s it. Once a month, be a mentor. You can do it in person. On the phone. Over email. Twitter. Facebook. Text message. Anywhere and anyhow! We all need mentors, whether we’ve been in the business decades or days, and I believe in the power of sharing what we know. It will come back to you.

Dear Readers, have you gone out of your way for anyone in the wedding and event industry recently? If so, please share your random act of (professional) kindness! If not, tell me what you’d like to do for someone else, and then go do it!

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How to Know When You Do Good Work

January 25, 2012

(Image via Andrew Martin)

In Monday’s blog post, entitled “The Art of Being a Business Person and an Artist,” I advised folks in our industry to “TRUST in your ability to create. Some artists buy into the lie that being an artist is only reserved for a select few. But if creating your art makes you feel alive, then you are an artist.”

That post generated many wonderful responses, but one comment in particular stood out. Renee Shea of Luminoso Blu Events wrote:

“As usual Preston your latest post came at a timely moment for me. I have been thinking all morning about benchmarking and quality work. I want to ask a question to your readers in relation to the ‘trust in your ability to create’ point. How do you get that trust? How do you benchmark your quality designs against others? How do you know that what you do is good, quality work?

I ask this from a position of a start-up business – I don’t have a back-log of clients who can attest for my work. I understand that it takes time to establish a business, but every business person knows that if you aren’t selling a decent product (quality or price wise) then being in business isn’t going to work. How do you know whether you’re selling a quality product/service?”

I think Renee’s question is incredibly important, and I know she really wants to know your answers. So do I! What would you say to Renee? Here are my thoughts:

Dear Renee, I completely understand where you are coming from. In fact, I joke that my next book should be a compilation of all the designs I’ve done that I thought were quality, but my clients definitely did not. There have been quite a few of those over the years!

I think your comment brings up two different issues: Artistry and Value. When I set out to create all those designs I thought were so brilliant, I had no idea my clients wouldn’t agree. In my mind, those designs were art. However, to my clients, they had no value.

As much as we are artists, we’re also in the service industry. We must remember that our jobs are to provide a service. That means, in part, that we have to give our clients the best quality product we can. In order to do that, we have to listen to them and hear what they need and want — not just what we want to produce.

The bottom line is that if my clients are happy, then I know I have a great product. Over the years, I’ve honed my instincts, and today I have a much better understanding of what my clients will and will not value. With time, you, too, will strengthen your instincts and develop your own signature look, style and interpretation.

Dear Readers, regardless of the product or service you provide (flowers, event design, stationery, food, lighting etc…) do your clients usually like the first ideas you come up with? What do you do when they don’t? Please share!

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