In my work, I meet and talk to lots of different people. One thing that comes up again and again is how difficult and humbling design work is. Being a designer is hard; it’s hard on the mind and the spirit. After all, every time you design something, you’re putting a piece of yourself out there to be judged by the world. That’s some frightening stuff. So frightening in fact that some talented designers are never able to move past it. They spend their entire careers held back by fear.
But it doesn’t have to turn out like that. Remember, it all begins with the design process. Do I love designing? Well, I know I love eating dessert! And I certainly love spending time with my partner. I love waking up at a the beach and going for a long run, too. I love lots of things. But designing? Well… maybe.
The thing about designing is that it speaks right to your ego. Designing makes me feel exposed. Part of designing is making yourself vulnerable, and that means that sometimes you’re going to have to face those dreadful feelings of self-doubt. It’s one thing to design for yourself, but most of us spend our days designing for clients. Clients judge our work. They’re supposed to. But that’s what makes us vulnerable. We’re at the whim of someone’s else preferences. You want the client to love your design and, therefore, love you, too.
I think that’s one reason I always give my clients multiple options. I also know that my goal is NOT to be a great designer but rather an effective designer. When I give my clients two or three strong options, I know I am increasing my effectiveness. I like thinking in terms of effective, because it keeps me from focusing on the selfish desire to be the greatest and best. It’s better for me and my clients if I let effectiveness drive me.
Okay, well, now the more I think about designing the more I realize that I do love it. Forget the maybe: I LOVE DESIGNING. I love the challenge of it, and I love surprising a jaded client, who’s done and seen it all. I even like all the bad designs I’ve created over the last thirty years. It’s like mining for gold: you have to dig through a lot of dirt and mud to find that one shiny nugget.
I truly believe that all of us have a divine creative light just waiting to break out and shine. The trick is not letting your ego or a fear of failure stand in your way.
Dear Readers, has fear ever held you back? How did you move past it? Do you have a word or a phrase, like effective, that you use to center and focus your work? What is it? Please share.
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(Image via The Sweetest Occasion)
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George Bernard Shaw once said: “You see things and say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were and say, ‘Why not?’” That quote embodies how Preston Bailey approaches every event.
Sandi Spells
January 4, 2012
I used to let people intimidate me in a way that I was afraid to show all of my talent. Many times when I would explain or sketch out my ideas…people would look at me like how is she coming up with this? is she really doing this herself? That used to bother me, but I had to realize if I held back my ideas I would be doing my client a disservice. As years past I realized that GOD gave me this gift to design spectacular masterpieces (invitations) and this is what I’m suppose to be doing… If I am to use this gift I must use it in the right way…. So now I welcome this disbelief because it challeges me to dig deep inside and exceed my client’s expectations…. It is the greatest feeling…..and the greatest reward all at the same time… You have to believe and know that you are the best…my faith in GOD and my teachings from Sean Lowe is what has brought me to this point…
Anonymous
January 4, 2012
I have no words… so well described! “effective designer” is a great term. Thank you Preston!
Allison
January 4, 2012
I am just starting out. I have so many wonderful ideas and I start to implement them BUT when it comes time to execute them, I back away. My main issue is “FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN”. Will my event be successful? Will others like my design? What if I’m doing everything wrong? I am a perfectionist and very particular person. I like to know specifics but I don’t have anyone that can answer my questions. It’s like a “secret club” here in my city. No one really wants to answer questions or have time to deal with a novice such as myself. Preston, can you help me with this? you are a very forward person.
Aimee Dunne
January 4, 2012
This is so very true. As a wedding planner I started out because I love designing, being creative and seeing how it makes others smile
I wasn’t prepared for how different this would be to designing something for myself, being judging, and the oh so wonderful self doubt that occasionally rears its ugly head! If it gets to me I take some time out and create a mood board on something I love or pick up a wedding magazine to remind me why I love my job! Oh, and I love Preston mentioning some of his ‘bad’ designs…are there really any!?
Aimee Dunne
January 4, 2012
Oh and Allison, I know exactly what you mean about there being a “secret club”, feeling a novice with little advice and being a perfectionist. I have felt exactly the same and very much so when I first started out, I felt quite alone, like everything I was doing was wrong and everyone else in the industry had the secrets and they were doing it right…but I couldn’t ask them how! I do sometimes still feel like this but it does start to fade away when you pick up more experience and confidence. I would also live some advice on this Preston!
Ramona
January 5, 2012
Fear is a signal you’re learning
Because we’re designed this way, we tend to respond to ALL unfamiliar experiences with fear – even if they’re not dangerous. So long as you’re taking yourself into new territory, and growing, you’ll always feel some fear along the way. From a creativity point of view, fear is useful because it makes you more alert when you’re learning and growing. And fear is a signal that you’re learning. In fact, if you’re telling yourself you’re learning in a particular area of your life, yet you’re not feeling any fear in that area of your life, you’re probably not learning.
Sileola
January 5, 2012
Thanks Preston…….I do get intimidated at times when planning events and it can be overwhelming when I think of it all at once. When fear comes in the way, I always take three steps, 1. Remind myself why I started event planning 2. Remember my passion and love for event planning 3. When I feel like it is much more than me, it reminds me I have to draw from a strength from the inside that is bigger me which is always enough to take away all the fears.
The truth is I think there is always an amount of fear and nerves, at least for me with every event; but on the week of the event all i say to myself is “its hear, give the best you can and make it a success.” At the end of the day in our different professions especially in the creative world I think we always have to give it all we have. Some will be wins and some not so much, but the main thing we all have to do is learn from every event and aim to be better each day
Savannah Page
January 5, 2012
Beautiful and a very well-written blog post, Preston. Love the subject!
Fear, ego and pride are major pitfalls, They can destroy dreams becoming goals.
Fear of criticism and negativity hold me back. I dread hearing about how someone disliked my book or hates my writing style or thinks my blogging is so-so. But then I always think about that Mark Twain quote, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.”
We won’t really remember all of our mistakes, but we’ll remember all of the missed opportunities. And we don’t want to regret. That’s worse than failing, in my opinion.
If we don’t try and if we don’t come to grips with making ourselves vulnerable to criticism and negativity, we’ll miss out on a beautiful life and the adventures it has waiting for us. There are surely more beautiful and positive and constructive responses awaiting our work out there. And those are certainly worth going after even if we have to endure some not-so-pleasant reviews or clients.
Reminding myself that life is short and we just have one on this earth, and that time is unlike anything else (as in once it’s gone, it’s gone), then I know I can buck up and get going. Making dreams into goals and finally into reality.
All the best,
Savannah
sharon jackson
January 5, 2012
Fear did come across my path, but I “refused” to let it have a permament place in my life. God will always give me direction for my life, so therefore I’m “secured” in who God made me to be. Also, for those who are in business, remember this: To fulfill your destiny, stay true to your heart, and do not let anyone queeze you into a mold. Because you are a deserving talented Person!
lina chegodaev
January 11, 2012
I agree, fear gets the most of us, but if you never face your fears, you will never move forward or achieve everything you want out of life.
Me and my friend are starting this new business and it is SO FRIGHTENING thinking about it all however i just think to myself, if we dont try and if we dont fail, we will never WIN. You dont learn how to ride a bike without falling over, you dont learn how to play golf unless you loose a few balls or games. Loosing is Winning. Same concept with your fears. Face them…you will fall…you will get back up and keep trying….eventually,..you will reach your goals.
Everytime im faced with something difficult i think to myself…. This is all part of the experience, its a learning curve.
People who dont face their fears, whether that be a business deal, investment or whatever, will sit there their whole lives and watch life pass them by. We just all need to get up and TRY! Give it a go, see what happens. Take the risk, especially if it is your fear that is holding you back from your dreams.
Bit of a motivational talk but thats a little about what is going through my head right now.
=P
naturegirl
February 9, 2012
Amazingly said, Preston.
We are lucky (right now) to have the most beautiful and easily accessible flowers, and the most innovative forms and materials than ever before. When I started designing that wasn’t the case, and it was so much harder to try to bring an idea into reality.
Sometimes when I get stuck or doubtful I “give it” to the flowers/theme/containers and let them shine for me. There is inspiration everywhere to guide you even if you still worry about your confidence.
Event designing also means you have to have great people reading skills. You have to understand what the client is trying to tell you and make it reality, and many times that can be done by reading their personalities as much as it is LISTENING to them. If you have communication skills it makes it much easier, as well.
I have deemed many creations as “bad” by my standards, only to have the client dearly love it. Accept that not every one is going to be a home run outta the park, and it’s ok (as long as they think it is LOL). If you have done your very best, and planned it thoroughly, kept the quality as #1 priority the whole time, have a few back up plans (just in case) – that’s all you can do.
-But if you never create it to begin with, then they will never see it, and you will miss out on a wonderful confidence gathering experience.