Dear Preston: His Mom Doesn’t Want Us to Marry

bride dear preston mother in law drama

Dear Preston,

I just got engaged, and we’d like to get married in the next three months. However, my future mother-in-law keeps telling us that we need at least a year and a half to plan our wedding. But I’ve already checked with the vendors I want to hire, and they’re all available. I’m starting to think she doesn’t really want us to get married at all! What do you think? Do we need more time? And how should I deal with my fiancé’s mother?

Eager to Wed

Dear Eager to Wed,

There’s no rule that says you have to take a certain amount of time to plan your wedding. I’ve planned weddings for clients in as little as three weeks! Then again, I’ve also planned weddings for clients who weren’t getting married for two years.

But let’s discuss the really alarming part of your letter — your new mother-in-law’s comments. There’s no question that this is your wedding and that you and your fiancé should plan it as you both see fit. However, you can’t ignore this gut feeling you have about your mother-in-law’s intentions.

If I were you, I’d work on strengthening my relationship with her. Perhaps you can compromise and get married in nine months instead of three? This will give you a chance to win her over, and she won’t feel like you’re ignoring her opinions.

Also, forgive me for asking, but is there a reason you want to get married so quickly? The more time I have to design and plan a wedding for a client, the more cost-efficient I can make it. Ideally, I like to have at least six months to create my clients’ dream weddings.

Dear Readers, is there a perfect length of time for planning a wedding? What advice would you give this bride? Please share your perspective in the comments.

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  • http://YOURWEBSITE Nicole

    I think I’m on the mother-in-law’s side…what’s the rush? Unless they are an older couple, then they may just want to get it done. But usually younger brides like to take the time to prepare and enjoy both the process of planning and then the culmination. Maybe the mother-in-law suspects something else may be in play.

  • Cary Pennington

    Great post! I like the posting of the letter and really keeping things personal! Really shows that you care about your customers!

  • Chris

    Hey, it’s great when your family supports your decisions. But his mother’s disapproval could be one of the greatest things to ever happen to you guys as a couple.
    You and your future husband will have some tough times–all married couples do. In order to be successful, you’ll need to have a “It’s-him-and-me-against-the world” mentality.
    I suggest that you defy everyone’s expectations–it will bring the two of you closer together.

  • Navjot Kaur

    Preston, You gave the right advise. Why hurry unless one is scared of the relationship not being strong enough to sustain on its own. I really appreciate you taking time to give her the honest opinion that is most likely best for her future.