Dear Preston,
I am getting married this September and have a big problem in that I am losing faith in my designer. Though I admired her work at a friends wedding (and she came highly recommended to me) working with her has been a challenge. The problem is not her talent, it’s her insecurity. Not too long ago, she showed me a gorgeous floral design and I expressed how much I loved it from the very moment I saw it. Now, every time we discuss my wedding, she asks me if I really loved the design or if I was “just being nice”. At this point, I am beginning to question it myself. How can I tell her to back off without hurting her feelings?
Sincerely,
Insecure
Dear I:
I understand your frustration but also want to encourage you to be patient with your designer. Though she might sound like a bundle of insecurity, she is also a person. Try to recognize that her heart is in the right place and she wants to please you.
As an artist, I can empathize with her. Regardless of how beautiful a design might be, I always have the nagging feeling that it could be better. The problem with this designer is that she has not yet learned the number-one rule of selling which is to “quit while you’re ahead”. If your client is happy, so you should be.
My advice to you is to trust your initial instincts regarding her talent and indulge her by telling her how happy you are once more. You’ll be amazed at how a few simple words can help her.
Blessings,
Preston
Question:
What do you think? Do you think this designer is being too needy? Do you quit while you are ahead or do you continuously seek perfection?
(Photo courtesy of Mindful.org)
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George Bernard Shaw once said: “You see things and say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were and say, ‘Why not?’” That quote embodies how Preston Bailey approaches every event.
lara
July 17, 2012
Great advice on this one, Preston. I think that sometimes clients do forget that we are people, but moreover, we are PLEASERS. Someone who thrives in any service industry, by nature, is a pleaser. We want to make people HAPPY. It doesnt matter how much money i’m being paid, if the client isnt happy, the money really….i dont want it. It would bother me SOOO Much to have someone be unhappy, as i know i would be VERY offput if i wasnt happy at my own wedding.
Sometimes, though, i do think that things get lost in translation as well. I know i’ve caught myself repeatedly saying “does that make sense”. Over and over “does that make sense…?” It comes from the fact that people often THINK they know what i’m talking about, and i’m just trying to ensure clarity, however, after reading your blog, i’m wondering if my ‘filler phrase’ is actually causing a bit of insecurity on the part of one large client i am currently working with.
anyway, great topic and advice. as always, preston, you’re the master!
summer hugs from belize!
Lara
Sileola
July 17, 2012
I agreed with you Mr. Bailey. I think you should be a bit more patient with the designer, especially since it is not the lack of talent.
This scenario might not apply to you, but another way to look at it sometimes when a client has changed their mind a couple of times on the design they want and the designer might have noticed a trend that the client can be indecisive. So even when the client finally says they love a particular design, the designer might just be asking multiple times to ensure the client will not change their mind again.
Nevertheless I think it’s best to know when you have made a sale and at that point stop selling.
Navjot Kaur
July 18, 2012
This advise is coming from a Artist. The perfection that Preston displays in his work is exceptional. In this case, it is possible that Designer does not feel confident in that design for the theme. Or may be Designer wants to hear the sounds of appreciation. I hope Preston’s viewpoint is well receieved and designer is treated fairly just any other person one come across.
Gloria
July 18, 2012
I would say to my insecure designer….”I love your design and I have confidence in you. That’s why I hired you. Please don’t make this stressful for me, your client, by not having confidence in yourself.”
Be kind, but honest. Designers need a sounding board for their artistic musings and insecurities, but that sounding board is not your client.