Two weeks ago, a very dear friend of mine was in a car accident. As a result, he was required to visit the one place where all of us feel especially vulnerable: the doctor’s office. I offered to accompany my friend to his appointments and was right there with him, watching the ways in which nurses, doctors and staff interacted with him and other patients.
This turned out to be a life-changing experience for me.
Throughout the day, I witnessed some of the most caring individuals I had ever met tend to my friend and others. They were kind, compassionate and truly committed to helping to create an environment that was comfortable for all patients and guests. Then there was the outlier.
We will call her the scary witch lady from hell.
While I can sit here and speculate as to why she threw salt on all of her words and interactions, the bottom line is that this woman was just pissed off at the world. Now, I have been around long enough to know the best ammo in this kind of situation is to shower (read: kill) with kindness. I smiled and did my best to warm the atmosphere but she was not having it. I could deal with her nasty attitude but my friend and other patients should not have to, especially when sick. Finally, I broke down and asked her “Lady, what the (fill in the blank) is your problem?”
To my surprise, she almost broke down crying and ran out of the room.
I don’t know if I should feel angry or sorry for her. In retrospect, it is clear that she was having a very bad day. That said, I don’t believe she had a right to ruin the days of those around her.
Obviously, most of us are in the event business and not in hospitals but I still am very curious to hear from all of you. How do you deal with rude people and poor customer service? Do you feel that we all need to learn to leave our problems at home? Is that even possible?
Blessings,
Preston
(Photo Courtesy of Hawaii Dermatology)
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George Bernard Shaw once said: “You see things and say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were and say, ‘Why not?’” That quote embodies how Preston Bailey approaches every event.
Nicky
July 23, 2012
Kill them with kindness is usually the method I use. I find that if I’m rude to them they are even less willing to help me out. With that being said I’ve had my fair share of very rude people and have snapped on them only to feel guilty about it later. I guess it depends on the situation but when I’m having a bad day I don’t let it known and make everyone else feel like crap.
barbara
July 23, 2012
Being nice even when someone is being rude is usually the best way to reroute someones emotions/anger etc. Being mean back will just make the persons bad mood escalate and no one wants that. Its hard to be nice when someone is just being mean. Just letting that individual know that their mood is unacceptable can also be effective – but must take precautions on how you say it.
Shaun
July 23, 2012
Such a great topic. Fortunately for us, or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, we are in the service industry, which means customers have the choice to not book us, or refuse to in the future. This isn’t the case in a hospital, but the same great customer service should be in place whenever you are dealing with the general public. If I cross a vendor who does exceptional work, however was a boar to work with (to me I can take it, but if that attitude towards my clients is shown that’s a problem) then I simply don’t use them again. A vacant store front, or an empty calendar is the purest way to be shown that something you’re doing (or not doing) isn’t working
Parker Bennett
July 23, 2012
I find the best way out of those situations is to detach emotionally from your reaction and turn on my curiosity voice: “Miss, how is your afternoon coming along? I bet you’re seeing a lot of demanding people today given the [weather, time of year, whatever]. I work in the wedding planning business, so believe me I can tell you horror stories…!”
The key is recognizing she must be having a bad day and not to feel like you must retaliate, as good as that feels at the time. As backwards as it sounds, your quip was very selfish because it was inserted to make you feel better. Of course we all fantasize about saying what you said to her …
Gloria
July 23, 2012
I kill the rude clients and customers with kindness.
If I am on the receiving end of bad service, I take a quiet approach. I ask questions in a very neutral manner so that I can understand what’s going on. I follow up with a neutral, honest but open complaint up the food chain to someone with actual authority or responsibility.
I try to remember that often, bad service is the result of staff shortages and/or the poor planning of senior people. The customer service person in front of you is often as much a victim as you are. Does the person in front of you have the actual tools, training or experience to do their job? It’s pointless to be unpleasant to them if they don’t.
My experience tells me that anyone who is b*tch in medical services or event planning services is usually a burn out case. We all have to be vigilant to keep ourselves balanced and guard against cynicism and never vent our frustration anywhere that isn’t “safe” or professional.
Pam Archer
July 24, 2012
“Over-nice” is my strategy as well. Sometimes, all they need is a kind word to turn their day around. I do believe we should all suck it up and put on a smile whether we feel like it or not. I have certainly had days when I didn’t do that and regretted my behavior, which is why I try harder not to lose it now.
Your blog topics are always so relevant!
Carmen
July 29, 2012
Dear Preston, I am not an event planner or floral designer, one day maybe I will!
today my daughter came to me trying to convince me about opening my own business and be an event planner after she saw me doing two flowers arrangement for the buffete table for a wedding this afternoon, and she started talking to me about a famous designer that is from Panama, You! 
of course I got so happy and proud because as you should know we are not that many panamanians 
( I am from Colon ) and felt very happy to heard that, so I went on your website and saw all the wonderful work you do, amazing!!! I feel so proud, of your success even though I haven’t met you. I have been working in the culinary field for 14 years now, worked for 6 years for Barton G catering, and Centerplate, and consider myself very blessed for all those things that I learned, I enjoyed every work that I did, and appreciate all those good teachers that taught me. I concentrate more in Garde Manger, a lot of carvings, but always wanted to learn how to do those beautiful flowers centerpieces, I love decoration, I close my eyes,imagine and then make it happen, but for some reason, I always find a reason to postpone my dreams. Being a single parent, was my decision to stopped working in catering and events because my youngest son has autism, HE IS BEAUTIFUL! and very bright, but since that moment, I switch my interest to work with children with autism, so now I am a teacher assistant for children with autism which I enjoy so much what I do, because it brings me so much satisfaction being able to help other children the same way I have been helping my son, but at the same timeI miss so much decorate and work with my hands and my creativity, so now I am in a point of my life that I really don’t know what path to take because I love and enjoy both! but at the same time I want to learn how to follow my dream and make it happen having my own business, in that way God not only will bring blessings to me, but my children will benefit from these blessings! Hopefully one of these day I will be taking one of your wonderful courses. Reading your blog today for first time, I can sense that you are an amazing, wise and loving person, and that you are not only counting your blessings but what you do with them for others is wonderful. Just want to congratulate you! God Bless!!