Dear Preston: My Paid Internship Was a Waste

September 11, 2012

Dear Preston,

I am new to the business. I was married five years ago, and like many brides, I fell in love with the planning process. In fact, I enjoyed the experience so much that I studied and worked very hard to become a party planner. I was advised that the best way to go about gaining entry into the business was to become an intern for an established planner. After significant effort, I finally landed an internship by paying a well-known planner to shadow her on a weekend while she did a wedding. Unfortunately, this turned out to be a massive disappointment. I spent most of my time getting coffee for the crew and doing grunt work that had little or nothing to do with planning itself. I have chosen not to mention the name of the planner out of respect, but I feel cheated and ignored. What do you suggest that I do?

Sincerely,

Cheated.

Dear Cheated:

Thank you for your candid letter. I feel very badly that you did not learn as much as you expected and hope that you had the good sense to write or speak to the planner in question. Your letter is difficult for me to respond to as I was not there, but I would like to point out a few issues.

I. Paid internships should be about learning the job in question. I find it very irresponsible of this planner to take your money before clarifying what exactly you would learn.

II. There is only so much a planner can “teach” you. A lot of my knowledge has been acquired through observation. This planner may have hoped that by shadowing her, you would “pick up” tips. This is best clarified by way of a conversation with her.

III. Planning happens mostly while leading into a job. Yes, the actual event is important, but the next time you reach out to a mentor, keep in mind that learning about what happens before the event is essential.

In any case, I would suggest that you make sure to voice your feelings in a clear and concise way to the planner in question. Hopefully, she’ll be understanding and reimburse you some of your money or invite you to shadow her at another wedding or event.

Blessings,

Preston

Question: Would you pay money to be an intern? Isn’t it enough to offer your time in exchange for knowledge? What is your opinion?

Are you a bride who has been bitten by the planning bug?

(Photo Courtesy of The Bucket List)

Be Sociable, Share!

http://www.NaturalElementsByPS.com Patricia Simitakos The Eco Conscious Planner

Great answer, Preston. I say that ANY experience is valid experience, and speaking as someone that has worked commission only for large firms in my area (A.K.A. – “free till I bring in business”), what I can add is that it is up to the individual to ask LOADS of questions while on the job (not just of the planner, but of all the people involved) and, as you said, make LOTS of observations – I, too, am not sure what one would expect to learn in one weekend alone.
And it is true that it is very valuable to learn “the grunt work”, so that you understand the importance of getting the small details right and how every person on your team is a vital piece of the puzzle. I am sure that if “cheated” reflected on it, she may not feel so cheated after all.
http://ubtransformed.com Monica Smith

Dear Preston;

Having begun a wedding planning business when it first became popular to do so (mid-1990′s), I was bold enough to call Colin Cowie and other renowned wedding planners to pick their brains for direction and advice. Colin Cowie’s assistant called me back and spent an hour on the phone with me free of charge.

After that experience, I would not pay anyone to be an intern. You don’t pay for an internship when you are in school, nor do you pay mentors in the business world. Why should this be any different?

Clearly things have changed and I understand that time and experience are valuable, but what goes around comes around. If you give back what you have been given, you can only reap some benefit of great value in the future.

Monica
http://www.silverleafevent.com Navjot Kaur

First of all, beginning was not right with paying for the internship. Secondly, I agree with Preston that you learn by observing others in business. No one is going to feed you with anything. World is all about what you have to offer rather than what others have to offer. I started my journey with certification in floral design and thought that I learnt everything to be on the job. I confidently walked into a high end Interiors and floral design place to ask for a job. I got the job not because I had a certification but of my confidence and passion. Very quickly I realised that certification is not all yet I have a long way to go. Reality hit me when first four weeks all I was allowed to do was prep work with painting the pots. I was not allowed to even attempt any florals until I was able to create and visualize the green into a floral designs. If I had left in frustration, I would never be able to move forward with my dreams. I am very thankful to God for that first opportunity. Nothing in life is a waste as it teaches you something with or without a price tag.
http://www.ilovemyplanner.net I Love My Planner

I’m shocked! I have never heard of charging anyone to be an intern. Don’t be discouraged. Instead, I would suggest finding an event planner that offers classes with the opportunity to work an event with their team after the classes have been completed. In the meantime, don’t discount getting experience with other vendors too. When I became a planner I shadowed a florist and learned a lot about the business from that perspective that has helped me out a lot. How would I have learned about the cost of flowers and how to keep a client’s budget on track if I don’t know how much things cost. Keep your options open. As Patricia S. said, any experience is experience.
http://www.livelaughdecorate.com/ Deb

For I minute there I thought I misread the letter. Why would you pay someone so that you can be their intern? Didn’t know this even existed…you learn something new everyday. Was a free shadow internship not an option..since it was only a weekend? Also, I agree with Preston if you are paying you should know up front what EXACTLY you will be doing and what will be expected of you. I say you demand a refund….unless all sales are final…lol
http://greenestreetphoto.com Hannah

I’m appalled that this person took her money at all. Paying to be an intern is NOT the definition of a paid internship and whoever got her to that conclusion was yanking her chain so to speak. She was not enrolled in any kind of formal education or certification program while shadowing this planner. While I feel for her deeply about the disappointment & wasted time she did not do her homework whatsoever. Perhaps this is a sign that she’s not meant to be in such a time consuming, detail oriented business.